Are We There Yet?
by SleepingStarlight
Summary: Three years have passed since their promises at the Ski Lodge, and Maya can't help but ask if they've reached the Long Game yet. But some things aren't as simple as we want them to be, and somedays are often even more complicated. A Josh and Maya (Joshaya) story.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi friends :)**

 **I've been in the process of writing this story for some time now, (it was originally why I created this account), and I've finally worked up the nerve to post the first chapter, which, granted, is more of a prologue. That's why there will be a second update following this one very shortly!**

 **This is going to be a very slow-burn story, but I hope it won't be _too_ frustrating for anybody. I've always had a fond spot for slow-burn just because I find that characters have the opportunity to grow considerably more than they would otherwise.**

 **I'm so excited to do this with all of you, and I hope that we can communicate along the way (reading your reviews honestly makes my day, _and_ induces a Riley-like YAY). And please kno** **w that I read every single one of your reviews, often even multiple times, but I can only reply to those who have accounts unfortunately.**

 **I love every single one of you and I really hope you can enjoy reading this as much as I do when writing it!**

 **\- SleepingStarlight**

 **I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this story, all credit goes to Girl Meets World**

 **WARNING: I don't think there is any swearing in this chapter, but read at your own discretion (and lest I sound even more like the opening credits of a movie) their will be course language in the future**

As a new song flooded her ears, Maya turned to look out the window for what felt like the hundredth time that day. Lo' and behold, the highway managed to look the exact same as it did twenty minutes ago. However to the left of her, a sleeping Riley had assumed a new position with her right leg swung over Maya's lap and her head resting on it. She shifted uncomfortably and Maya managed to pull her arm out from underneath her, before unceremoniously shoving Riley onto Auggie who sat on her other side as he protested sleepily. And as another road sign passed them, claiming there were still 70 miles to Philadelphia, Maya couldn't help but groan internally and try to remember why she'd even agreed to come on this trip when she could've had the apartment to herself for the week (her mom and Shawn had gone for their honeymoon in Fiji). She could have turned the living room into her temporary studio, taken over her mom's admittedly larger bedroom, and used her savings from shifts at Topanga's to order tacos every day. But in all honesty, she was out of canvas, her mom's room was filled with crap (Shawn was in the process of moving in), and she had next to no money left to spare after the crippling university tuition for her first semester starting within the month. So there she sat, observing the passing trees outside the window while Riley took the opportunity to unnecessarily catch up on sleep. It was going to be a long ride yet, so Maya closed her eyes and tried to rest, but it didn't work very well. Instead her mind kept thinking about where she would be in the next few hours. She would be in Philly. Living in the same house as Josh, who should be home for summer break, although she would never admit she cared enough to ask. It had been four years since they made their deal and they had barely seen each other since, with the exception of Matthews gatherings and a handful of texts. But now, everything was different. She was eighteen, she graduated high school, and she was going to University within the month. It may have been ridiculous to have held onto the idea of someday for so long, but she couldn't help but hope that it was finally the right time for them. After all, _what could possibly stop him now?_ Maya was jerked out of her thoughts as Riley woke up groggily.

"Are we there yet?" she groaned, "It's been at least 10 hours and I can't feel my feet!" Riley had honestly been hoping that Maya would stay home for this trip, because maybe, just maybe, she would have been allowed to stay _with_ her. She loved visiting her family, but Lucas would be leaving within the month for University and she couldn't help but lament the loss of an entire week with him.

"Don't you think that's a bit of an exaggeration, honey?" Topanga questioned from behind the wheel, "And you can't feel your feet because you've got them all over Auggie," she said while looking pointedly at the the pair in the rearview mirror.

"We're almost there Riles," Maya soothed from her other side, "Why don't you close your eyes for a bit, we all know how tired you are," she suggested, a hint of laughter apparent in her tone.

"Okay, soundssgood," Riley mumbled before promptly falling back to sleep. Topanga smiled at her briefly before returning her eyes to the road.

"Thanks Maya," she said quietly before hitting Cory awake and snapping, "My husband is no help."

"Guilty!" Cory squeaked before putting an eye mask over his eyes, allowing the small "yip, yip, yips" to resume. It was a long drive and he wasn't going to pass up the opportunity of a peaceful nap. Odds were he wouldn't get much sleep within the next few days anyways, what with the long list of things his parents would have for him to do while down in Philly. So, in his eyes (closed eyes really), it all worked out.

 _What a pair_ , Maya thought as Topanga rolled her eyes. This would be a long week.


	2. A Morning in Philly

**Hey fam!**

 **I just wanted to thank all of the reviewers who took time out of their day to let me know what they think (and also genuinely made my day)!**

 **I mentioned before that this story may be a continuation of the one-shot that I wrote (** _ **A Day in Six Weeks)**_ **, however for the plot outline I've made, I've decided to keep them as separate storylines. I hope that everyone can understand why I chose to plan it this way, even if it's not necessarily clear at the moment.**

 **And lastly, I'm planning on updating roughly once a week. I find that it's the best way for me to keep my writing at the quality that I want it to be.**

 **Love you guys :)**

 _ **-SleepingStarlight**_

 **I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this story, all credit goes to Girl Meets World.**

* * *

Three days had passed since Maya and the Matthews had arrived in Philly, and they were three days that passed oddly smoothly all things considered. However, Maya couldn't help but attribute her comfort level to the lack of presence of a certain someone, who, she would readily admit, made her nervous despite her better nature. So when she woke up on her fourth morning at the Matthews' residence, she felt comfortable, and that was a feeling she didn't value lightly. To her left, once again, snored a sleeping Riley, who had managed to sleep even after her ridiculously long nap the day before. Unfortunately, there was not another seventy miles of open road ahead of them, so the world was calling for her to break her slumber. And this morning, the world just happened to take shape in the vivacious blond looming over her best friend- a menacing grin on her face as she raised a pillow over her head and brought it down soundly upon Riley's form. Riley shot up immediately and her eyes snapped open searching for the aggressor before realizing her best friend was just being a bitch, _again_.

"Mayaaa!" she groaned, "what time is it?"

"Relax honey, you had to wake up anyways. Your grandma's making waffles for everyone and you're the last one up. Not your best move," Maya quipped while pulling on a pair of socks. Riley scrambled quickly, her fatigue disappearing immediately as she rushed to go get her waffles. Waffle morning was special and she wasn't going to miss this.

"COME ON MAYA, THERE WON'T BE ANY LEFT TO SPARE. MY FAMILY ARE PIGS," she yelled.

"This feels oddly familiar," Maya drawled sarcastically before beginning to hum the Paco's Tacos song loudly enough for Riley to hear.

"Oh get over it Peaches, it's been four years. I think you should have moved on by now," Riley said while attempting to pull on a bra with her shirt still on with little success.

"Trust me," Maya muttered bitterly, "I think you could say that about a couple of things in my life right now," before heading to the kitchen, her mind suddenly clouded with thoughts. She just couldn't be in this house without thinking about him 24/7.

"Riley, Maya, could you set the table please!" Amy called from behind counter.

The Matthews truly were under a system, Maya reflected, realizing that their mornings had been relatively the same during their visit. It felt stable- not very much seemed to affect how the family sat and ate the meal together every morning.

"No problem Mrs. Matthews," Maya said as she reached unsuccessfully for the glasses on the top shelf of the cabinet. Anything high up was truly a struggle, so she finally surrendered and dragged over a chair. At home she would have just climbed the counters, but Mrs. Matthews would likely have a heart attack if she tried it here. "Riley, there's only one more waffle left!" Maya called, fully knowing that nobody else had even come downstairs yet. She heard a mad scrambling and a small yelp before a disheveled Riley ran into the kitchen.

"I'm HERE," she shouted while skidding to a stop on the tile floor.

"Riley, honey," Amy began her mouth curving into a smile, "No one is up yet, you're good," before rolling her eyes towards Maya, unsurprised by the blonde's antics. It had really been the same for the past three days.

"Maya," Riley groaned, slumping into a chair. "Why must you do this to me?"

"Honey, you'll have to get used to it, we're going to be living together within a month." Maya said while placing the plates on the table, having grown used to the routine from the past few days. "Now get up and help me, I'm not as young as I used to be," Maya whined jokingly.

"Fine," Riley said as she grabbed the plates from Maya. "You weren't doing it right anyways Peaches," she said while rearranging the place settings.

"What is happening?" A sleepy Auggie questioned from the top of the stairs. His sister's shriek had alarmed his otherwise beautiful sleep. There was just something about his Uncle Josh's bed that managed to sedate him for the night, a fact that Cory and Topanga had truly monopolized on.

Maya had realized immediately upon entering the Matthews home, the absence of a certain someone, and had felt equal parts relief and concern. She couldn't help but question if he were avoiding her, but was still _slightly_ happy that it would be a stress free week for her. It wasn't his fault that he put her on edge, but she was so aware of him that it was not very relaxing. Upon asking, though she did so reluctantly (lest anyone think she was _too_ curious), she was told that he had gone camping with a few friends for the week, and that he would return the day after they left. It shouldn't have been that big of a deal, it's not like she didn't see him on a semi-regular basis, (he _did_ go to university about ten minutes away from where they lived), but she _had_ been excited at the opportunity to spend the week with him sleeping _literally_ a room away. It was a bit silly, but she was hoping to tell him in person that she would be going to NYU come fall and maybe hint at a someday, although that last bit likely would not have happened anyways. She was still a bit unsure, but it seemed that any of it would be a _bit difficult_ considering he wasn't even there.

"Auggie," Riley exclaimed, handing him the plates. "Time to put yourself to use," she smiled.

"Yeah, okay," he shrugged while his sister slumped, once again, into one of the kitchen chairs.

"Riley, why don't you go wake up those two sleepy heads you call parents if you're just going to sit there," Amy said, placing a plate of waffles on the centre of the table.

"Ugh, last time I did that, they were in a very compromising position, so I'll hold out if you don't mind," Riley squinted, trying to erase that memory from her mind.

"Yeah, nobody blames you honey," Maya said sympathetically, having walked in on the two a few times herself. It made her classes with Cory very entertaining- what with all the new blackmail material she had gathered.

"Well, then go wake up your gramps," Amy said with a smile, "I think you should be pretty safe on that front."

"Yeah okay, come'on Auggie," Riley said grabbing the kid's arm before stalking out of the kitchen.

"You've really taken on a handful," Amy said laughingly. It had been quite interesting to observe how the duo had grown over the years. She didn't have to reach very far to remember the two as children, and while she had obviously seen her granddaughter more often than her counterpart, she still remembered falling in love with the vivacious, blonde five year old when she had accompanied the Matthews on their annual Christmas trip for the first time. She had known for quite some time of Maya's family troubles and was proud of her son and daughter-in-law for taking her under their wing. And even though things were looking up for Maya with Katy and Shawn's recent marriage, she was still (and always would be) a part of the family.

"So has she," Maya replied with a smile as she heard the stomp of the rest of the family heading downstairs for breakfast.

The day passed quickly after breakfast with Cory unearthing a family album and scrolling through every picture, periodically shouting as he relived his childhood memories. Coming home was special in that way, he could almost imagine that nothing had changed. He was still surrounded by his family (granted, it had grown a bit), he still had Topanga by his side (a constant that he could never take for granted), and his parents (whom he had likely taken for granted many, many times).

"SHAWNIE!" he screamed for what felt like the millionth time. However, this time it seemed to be for a good reason. Topanga glanced towards Maya, laughing at the expression that she knew would be on her face. Maya gaped at the picture of Shawn before her… which happened to be a picture of a _girl_. Written below was: _The Birth of Veronica_.

"Is that Shawn?!" Maya near-shouted, knowing without need of a response, while reaching for her phone. This was news for her and she never passed up the opportunity for new blackmail material, Cory could testify for that.

"It was for an article," Topanga tried to justify while fighting the smile threatening to appear on her face.

"Who cares?!" Maya laughed gleefully while taking a picture and sending it to Shawn.

"Okay, moving on!" Cory exclaimed, not wanting to defend his best friend at the moment. It was a bit hard when the picture looked so compromising.

"Is that Uncle Eric?" Riley asked while studying the picture in front of her, where Jack, Eric, and Rachel stood in their new apartment.

"Yup! That was before any of you guys," Alan said, gesturing to the three kids around him. Having his grandchildren around him was special, and sharing everything that happened before them was even more exciting. It was as if he were telling a story. It was a bit difficult at times for him, the home had begun to feel like an empty nest for the aging couple, but moments like these made it worth it.

"You know Jack, Riles. He came to your school dance remember?" Topanga prompted.

"Yeah, and that's Rachel right?" Riley asked, remembering her Uncle Eric's odd cry for her on occasion.

"Yup," Cory answered, before flipping the page and sighing at the picture in front of him. Maya suddenly felt as though she could cut through the tension that had just flooded the room with a knife. She saw Topanga's face soften as she looked towards the picture and reached for Cory's hand which had begun to shake precariously.

"Oh, man," Alan rubbed his face wearily as memories from that night revisited him.

"Who's that?" Auggie asked, looking at the picture of a small baby in an incubator and sensing the sudden change in atmosphere.

"It's your Uncle Josh," Amy replied, rubbing a stray tear from her face and reaching for her husband. "He was premature when he was born and we almost lost him."

Maya looked, shocked, towards Riley who did not seem surprised whatsoever. She felt the words echo in her head as every other thought flew out to encapsulate the one that reverberated through her brain, and sat down next to Topanga as the elder woman wrapped an arm around her shoulders comfortingly. _We almost lost him._ They almost lost him _._ She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. She was by no means alone in this world, and not seeing him very often was painful enough, but never seeing him- a world without Joshua Matthews just seemed scarily empty. Perhaps even unreasonably so. She couldn't explain the sudden onset of cold she felt in her body. A life without Josh Matthews would have been very different, and that was an understatement.

"Joshua _Gabriel_ Matthews", Topanga spoke quietly, "He whom God protects. He seems to have done a good job too," she said giving Maya's shoulder a reassuring squeeze, sensing the onslaught of emotions that had just overcome the young girl.

 _Yeah, he sure did_ , Maya thought as Cory flipped the page again.


	3. A Semi-Triumphant Return

**Hey guys,**

 **A week later and we have yet another chapter for these two cuties! I hope you all enjoy it and feel free to leave a review when you're finished. I can't help but thank those who have! I was so nervous to post my work for the first time, but your responses and encouragement make it so much easier for me to step out of my comfort zone and publish. Thank you so much for the time you guys put into a young writer, I really appreciate it :)**

 **** **Love you all,**

 _ **\- SleepingStarlight**_

 **I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this story, all credit goes to Girl Meets World. And I once again ask that if you feel the rating should go up, please feel free to message me (I might be over-worrying, but just to be safe).**

* * *

Maya was not a morning person, so to be completely honest, she was not liable for what happened to Riley that morning after the brunette had tried shaking her awake.

"Mayaaaa," Riley groaned from the floor after Maya had unceremoniously shoved her from the side of their bed. "Why? Why must you do this to meee?" she whined.

"Sorry, not sorry honey. According to my phone, it's seven in the morning," Maya said, feeling mildly short-tempered. She could barely tolerate early wake up times for school, but no one was allowed to touch her sleep schedule for summer vacation. Anytime before seven was her "I will literally murder you," phase. Seven to nine was "I might pound you, I might not," and anything after ten was still disgruntling, but manageable. Riley fully knew this, so she must have considered it worth the risk as she continued to shake Maya's shoulder after she had begun to turn over and attempt to resume sleeping.

"Maya, it's our last actual morning here," Riley whispered while rubbing the arm that she had landed on. "I want to make everyone breakfast, and if we don't start now, my grandma's going to wake up and just take over." Her grandmother had completely put herself out of her way to accommodate the amount of family that was currently residing in her home. Topanga had suggested to her kids before they left that they try and do something nice for their grandparents as it wasn't like they were getting any younger. Auggie had de-weeded the vegetable patch at Alan's request, and Riley had decided to try her hand at a pancake breakfast. She hadn't exactly done it before, but it couldn't be awful, she thought. There was always Aunt Jemima just in case.

"Riley, honestly, just toast some waffles and say you made them. Everyone will appreciate the effort." Maya quipped, throwing her face back into the pillow.

"No," Riley said with a resolve that lifted Maya's head slightly. _This should be interesting._ "Get up, Maya," She demanded. "You are going to go to the bathroom and be back within 10 minutes. Then we are _going to make pancakes_ whether you like it or not. So get your ass out of bed. Now!"

Maya's eyes popped wide open after that little speech. Abrupt Riley was truly a sight to see. "Wow Riles," Maya said, a slight lilt to her voice as she got up with her hands in the air before beginning to back out of the room slowly, "Try and find a good recipe," she grinned before she pranced out of the room, a sudden grin on her face. Testy Riley usually meant a fun morning and Maya would be damned if she let herself miss it.

* * *

"Maya, put the papaya down," Riley warned, hoping some kind of threat was apparent in her voice. Maya, strange little butterfly that she was, had been undermining the work Riley had been trying to do all morning. It had first started with Maya wanting to use orange juice instead of milk in the pancake recipe. Now, it had stretched to accommodate replacing chocolate chips with papaya slices. Riley watched helplessly from the other side of the counter as Maya slowly dropped slices into the pancakes cooking on the griddle. The first two batches had already been botched, so after finally giving in and using Aunt Jemima, Riley really didn't want to have to do it a fourth time because of Maya's antics. Riley clumsily jumped over the counter and grabbed the bowl of papaya from her friend- hoping to salvage the rest of the batter. This really couldn't go any further.

"Here," Riley said, holding chocolate chips in one hand and blueberries in the other. "Use your artistic prowess and make these pancakes beautiful. I know you don't like rules Peaches, but let's just try not to make a mess of things for grandma," she pleaded.

"A bit late for that Riley dear," Amy spoke from the stairs leading into the kitchen. "I have to admire your progress though, I don't think I've ever seen this much flour on the table before, or to be frank, on you. What, did you two bathe in it?" She asked laughingly, gesturing to the flour adorning both Riley and Maya's hair and everything surrounding them.

"It's ART!" the two girls yelled in unison while striking ridiculous poses. It really couldn't be explained any other way.

"Maya and I were trying to make breakfast," Riley began to explain hastily, "we should have something salvageable if you give us another hour," she pleaded knowing her grandmother wouldn't let this one go.

"Fat chance, dear," Amy said while rolling up her sleeves. "I'll finish this up, if you guys clean up the mess. Deal?" she asked, holding out her hand.

"Deal," the two girls echoed, reaching for towels. This would likely take a while.

* * *

"Thanks Amy, that was amazing," Topanga sighed while patting her stomach.

"The papaya was an interesting touch," Cory added, slightly perplexed but still overall pleased.

"Well, sometimes you gotta get out of your rut," Amy smiled towards Maya as she saw the blonde's face light up with laughter.

"It's really a form of art," Riley grinned knowingly towards her counterpart. What would henceforth be named _The Papaya Pancake Incident_ had been rather disappointing, but acted as a reminder for her to stick to what she knew she was good at. Later that day she would help her dad replant the hibiscus plants on the front lawn and she knew Maya had agreed to help her grandmother fix the painting on the second floor. So really, the _Incident_ really wasn't too bad after all.

"I try," Maya shrugged laughingly, before letting it fade out when she heard some noises from beyond the living room.

Everyone's heads turned as they heard a key in the front door. Maya looked towards her best ecstatically, knowing who was about to walk in. Sure enough, she heard the door open and the signature yell of "HEY FAMILY!"

Maya closed her eyes and smiled ear to ear. Forget having a relaxing vacation, she missed- even craved him with something she couldn't quite explain. And now, as she felt goosebumps spreading over her arms, she knew he was _finally_ there _._ She felt everyone get up around her as they all congregated in the living room.

He had clearly just walked in and was putting his bags down when a not-so-little-anymore Auggie tackled him and the rest of his family followed suit, while Maya stood slightly on the side, waiting for the crowd to open up a little. He stood wearing camping gear and hiking boots, hair tousled and eyes bright after spending the week outdoors. And _dammit_ , she couldn't stop looking at him.

"Guys! Guys," Josh yelled as his family bear hugged him before he could drop his stuff and begin returning the gesture. He looked around after he was done, noticing the absence of a certain someone until he suddenly felt a weight on his back and legs wrapping around his waist. He missed her with something almost palpable, and when he turned to look at her, he could see her blue eyes unnervingly close to his. He couldn't justify what he knew he was about to do, but he did it anyways, almost instinctually. "Maya," he sighed, before giving in and pecking her cheek when no one was looking. It was hard, if not impossible, he reasoned, when she was this close and he could feel her wrapped around him, a tight coil growing in his chest, and his heart beginning to palpitate. It was innocent anyways, nothing to worry about. He let her down, and she wrapped her arms around him once again. It had been _months_ , and while he knew he shouldn't, he couldn't help but savour the feel of her in his arms and the light, sweet scent of her hair.

"Boing," she said lightly, "I missed you."

"Me too," he said quietly. He could feel warmth radiating from her and closed his eyes, resting his chin on top of her head. But, everything seemed to be escalating quickly, so he hastened to let her go after a moment before scratching the back of his neck and taking her in. How was it that she could be in her pajamas with her hair spread haphazardly around her, and still look so beautiful. _Had she grown? Definitely not taller,_ but he could see subtle differences in her body and even the way she held herself. She had always been beautiful, but she looked mature this time around, and he had to tear his eyes away from her before they overstayed their welcome. He swallowed harshly before turning back to his niece.

But, Maya had not been oblivious as to what had just happened. He had definitely just checked her out and she could still feel herself tingling from his gaze. She felt older and powerful knowing that the guy that she had pined over was attracted to her. She knew he had feelings for her at one point, (it was unlikely she would forget that after what happened at the Ski Lodge four years ago), but she always figured it would be hard for him to be physically attracted to her with the three year age difference. She never thought he would give her the time of day in that respect, considering he went to University and was surrounded by gorgeous college girls every day. So she had resigned herself to that belief, regardless of how wrong it was. But that only meant that the attention he had just given her was thrilling and ridiculously satisfying. Maya knew she was beautiful and that she always had been. It wasn't that he was validating her worth, but rather that he finally saw her the way she wanted him to. And she was definitely relishing the feeling.

"What are you doing here, Uncle Josh? I thought you weren't coming back till tomorrow!" Riley asked excitedly. A visit to Philly just hadn't been the same without him.

So had he, in fact he had almost depended on it, "Yeah, Leo got sick so we decided to call it off early," he replied. Although, he reconciled with himself while nervously glancing at the blonde, being here was worth it. _Sorry Leo._

"Please tell me you're about to go take a shower, kid," Alan said as he noticed the general grime that seemed to coat his son, annoyingly aware that he had just hugged him anyways.

"Honey! He just got home!" Amy cried, getting Cory to grab his things as she lead Josh to the couch.

"Yeah no, Dad's right," Josh laughed. "I feel blegh. I'll be back in a few," he said, heading towards the stairs, his body already craving the hot water associated with indoor plumbing. And, frankly, he needed a moment to think, and that was a bit difficult with half a dozen family members surrounding him.

Maya watched him head up the stairs, slightly wistful. He _had_ just gotten there, but, she scrunched up her nose, he was kind of gross.

* * *

Maya heard a small yelp from inside the kitchen, and her head snapped towards the noise. It was a bit too familiar, and she had heard it far too many times before. So she ran to the kitchen, only to see a dishevelled Riley surrounded by dishwater that covered the floor. She seemed relatively unharmed, so Maya took a look around before beginning to laugh hysterically. It was just _so_ Riley-ish. She heard footsteps run down the stairs, and looked up to see Amy standing at the base, rolling her eyes at the sight in front of her.

"What is it with you two," she said, with a small giggle.

"We're bad luck," Maya winked towards Riley, who looked heartbroken that she had caused yet another mess within the span of one morning.

"Okay, noted," Amy said tip-toeing towards the towel next to the sink. She dropped the towel on the ground before grimacing, unsatisfied with the results. "Could you get me a few more towels Maya? They're just in the laundry bin upstairs."

"Sure thing," Maya mock-saluted before dashing upstairs, happy to escape the mess. She looked around carefully, not seeing a single bin, before leaning down and yelling down the stairs, "There isn't a basket in the hallway, should I just take the one from the bathroom?!"

"Oh shoot," she heard Amy curse downstairs. "Oh I think the basket's in Josh's room honey, could you grab it? It should be on the foot of his bed, I had just done some of his laundry for when he got home."

"Yeah, okay!" Maya shouted back, giddy to have an excuse to wander across the hall. As many times that she had been to Philly, she had never seen Josh's room. She could hear the shower on, so she walked in carefully, taking a look around. There were baseball posters on the back wall and a series of nature photos along his desk, (some which she recognized as Shawn's more popular pieces). The walls were a pale grey and she saw a journal on the table next to his bed, and an unmade bed next to it. The room wasn't messy, persay, more disorderly and Maya smiled because it seemed so much like him. She reached for the laundry bin, ready to leave when she heard the shower turn off and the doorknob beginning to turn. She attempted to stand up quickly, but just ended up falling ungracefully onto the floor. It was _the worst_ _time for her to mimic Riley_ , she thought before the door opened and out walked a very naked Josh holding a towel and drying his hair. She gaped, jaw hitting the floor, and he immediately noticed her by the foot of his bed. He yelped, before bolting back into the bathroom and closing the door.

"Fucking shit, Maya! A little warning would have been nice," he said exasperatedly from behind the door, scrambling to grab some clothing.

She gulped, ridiculously embarrassed, but also a bit admiring as she registered what she had just seen. _He was fucking hot_ , she thought. He had lean muscle covering his body and she couldn't help but smile secretly as she remembered what she had seen as her eyes had traveled downwards. It wasn't as if she had never seen a naked guy before, she wasn't that naive. But _Josh_ , the boy she had been in love with almost half of her life, was a different deal altogether. So she grinned before replying, "Sorry about that! Your mom sent me in to grab the towels in your basket. Although…" she laughed, "I have to admit I'm not regretting it very much right now."

"Very funny Maya," he said, emerging fully clothed and red-faced. "Can we not mention this?" he asked, slightly afraid of her answer.

"Well," Maya pretended to ponder, "the only person I'd have told is Riley, and now that I think about it… She _probably_ doesn't want to hear what I have to say about her uncle's di-"

He cut her off, extremely flustered, "Yeah, no. She doesn't."

"Yeah, I thought so," Maya shrugged, a wide smile on her face which immediately put him at ease and encouraged him to sit next to her on the bed.

"So, what've you been up to?" he asked, his original discomfort vanishing as she looked towards him excitedly, blue eyes bright as they sought his. He missed her, and he found himself kicking himself for thinking that any of his guilt-ridden feelings would have gone away with a well-timed camping trip. Her presence was invigorating, he could feel his heart race guiltily from being in such close proximity to her and knew that things like what the two of them had, never really went away. And he couldn't find an ounce of regret in himself about it.

Maya smiled eagerly towards him. "Um yeah," she started, "I'm going to NYU in the fall! It was between NYU and Columbia, but I got into both, and NYU is closer to home, so we'll be going to the same university in the fall!" she squealed happily and somewhat uncharacteristically.

He looked at how happy she was and felt the excitement running through his own veins as he wrapped his arms around her in congratulations. "I knew you could do it," he said, resting his chin atop her head. And he couldn't help the thoughts that flooded him.

Maya, in his bedroom acting as though she always had been there a million times. Maya, snuggling into his chest and making herself at home. Maya on the same university campus as him every moment of the day. Maya somehow being everywhere all the time. And the said Maya, who he couldn't move away from at the moment because she was just so _Maya_. And he never was able to resist her.

"You always did," she said, lightly burying her head further into his neck, inhaling his warmth and clean scent, before eventually pulling apart. They were sitting uncharacteristically close to one another, maybe a bit too close for comfort, yet still not too close at all. She felt his eyes trying to look at hers and she watched as he breathed in deeply, not moving any closer, but not backing away either. But just as Maya began to relax in his presence, (not so secretly blushing from his proximity), an annoyed voice travelled through the open door as footsteps approached, causing the two to further the space between them hastily, both slightly nervous from their interaction.

"Maya!" Amy called, peeking her head around the door, "if you didn't want to get the towels you could have just told me," she said before marching in and grabbing a few before leaving, slightly surprised to have seen the two sitting so close to each other.

"Um," Maya gulped, trying to hide her grin, "I should probably go help your mom."

"Yeah," Josh said wearily, rubbing his face with his hands before looking away from her, unable to face the reality of his emotions. He didn't understand what came over him when he was around her, it was as if he no longer had any vestiges of control. He sighed wearily, "I'll be down in a sec, I just need to unpack a bit."

"Okay," Maya said softly before walking out without glancing back and heading downstairs. This kind of stress was unique, it got her blood rushing through her body, caused tingling in her fingertips, and placed a hard-to-shake smile on her face. And she couldn't get enough of it, after all she had always loved an adventure.


	4. It Starts At 10!

**Hey guys!**

 **This update really snuck up on me with all the election stuff going on (I almost forgot it was Wednesday, eeek), but I hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless. I hope all of you are doing well- I know how stressful these elections can get, (especially this one with all the controversy surrounding it).**

 **Thank you all for your lovely reviews :) They mean the world to me! Also feel free to PM me with any questions you have or if you just feel like chatting, I love being able to talk with you guys!**

 **There is a bit of a time jump in this chapter, it's about a month later.**

 **Stay safe you guys.**

 **I love you all so much,**

 **-SleepingStarlight**

* * *

A month had passed since their trip to Philly, and Riley and Maya were attempting to adapt to life in their new dorm. To both of their reliefs, classes did not start until the following week, so the days were spent socializing with the other students on their floor and enjoying their newfound freedom. And it was safe to say that it was not taken for granted.

So as Riley rearranged her closet for the fourth time since they had moved in, she wondered why her parents hadn't called that morning as they had the past few days. _Maybe they're really beginning to let go_ , she thought semi-hopefully. A part of her truly did want her parents to stop crowding her and monitoring her every movement, but she couldn't help but miss them and their odd silliness, a trait she felt that they had passed on quite effectively. Her phone sat on her bedside table, and Riley glanced at it longingly, before shaking herself and placing her phone inside the drawer. She had to get used to living away from home, otherwise her university life would be truly awful.

She had just sat down to observe her organizing skills, quite satisfied with her work this time (if she said so herself), when she heard footsteps in the hallway as Maya entered the room.

"Riles! I found a poster for a frat party tonight. We are sooo going," she called while scrambling to put down the two steaming cups of coffee she held. Riley moaned while reaching for her cup, finally feeling her need to sleep catch up with her. Adjusting to a school schedule from summer vacation was perhaps the worst thing she had had to do yet. But school started too soon for her comfort so she had already been attempting to go to sleep early. Not that it was particularly easy when her best friend and roommate would stay up into early hours of the morning singing along with her strange rock bands and effectively throwing paint at a canvas in attempts to yield art- how she was successful Riley could never understand, especially since the process seemed so ridiculously unorganized, but it worked for Maya so it worked for her. Unless it was 2 a.m. because, _no_ , that did not work for her whatsoever. So when Maya attempted to teasingly dance away from her with both cups of coffee and a taunting grin on her face, Riley could feel her blood beginning to boil as she channeled her inner _Sassy Red Haltertop_ and savagely leapt towards her best friend, exhibiting a never-before seen grace as she grabbed her cup and landed on Maya's bed without spilling a drop, before beginning to guzzle.

"You realize you got nine hours of sleep last night, how can you possibly be _this_ exhausted?" Maya laughed.

"Oh come on Maya," Riley said as she resurfaced from her drink with an eye roll, "there's no way! We must have gone to bed at like 4:00 a.m. Besides, I am a woman of many hours."

"Nice try honey, we went to bed at 12:30," Maya said with a smile lighting up her face in regards to her innocent friend's antics. University would really be an eye opener for her. "You're really going to have to get used to this Riles, we're university kids now, we're _rebels_ who stay up past twelve. Who will ever be able to look us in the eye?!" Maya asked sarcastically as she wondered whether Riley's new schedule would put a damper on her plans for that night. Riley may have been satisfied with the goodie-two-shoes friends they had made on the second floor of their residence, but Maya wanted to expand her horizons a bit. All her life she had made friends with people like Riley- people with their heads straight on their shoulders- but now she was surrounded by so many people and the options seemed endless. She really wanted to get started (even if it meant having come to terms with her hair length and the possibility of lice).

"Whatever Maya," Riley said as she attempted to toss her empty cup in the garbage across the room, likely breaking some sort of coffee drinking record in the process. She knew where Maya would be going with this so she immediately latched onto the important questions, "When does it start and where is it?"

"It starts at 10 and it's at Jen's apartment across town," Maya replied smoothly, knowing what would happen next.

"IT STARTS AT 10?!" Riley yelled, shocked despite having already crashed a frat party at the same ungodly hour when she was just in middle school. _Maya really is full of the craziest ideas_ , she thought with a scowl on her face.

"Riles, honey, you have to get over that. We have to go meet people! University will be no fun if we don't make friends."

"I know Peaches," Riley said with a pout, "but can't we make friends during the 12 hours we have during the day when the sun is shining, and like actually talk with them and stuff like we did with the girls who live below us? And what happened to lice? Your hair is way too long to make new friends!".

"Yeah I know honey, but tonight we're going to go have fun and socialize and dance with people we'll probably never talk to again, and that my dear is the magic of university frat parties! And we are going, so you better be ready, and awake, for ten! YES?" Maya shouted at her friend, feeling that she would probably have to get Riley caffeinated again if she wanted to go anywhere past nine o'clock.

"Yes," Riley replied almost dejectedly, despite the excitement running through her veins. She really was growing up. But, crap, what were she and Maya going to wear? Would they have to bring something? _Do you need to take gifts to frat parties?_

"Also Riles, I know for a fact that the football team and a bunch of their hot friends will be there tonight if that makes you any more excited," Maya smiled, throwing a wink at her best friend who immediately blushed happily, momentarily forgetting about her worries. Riley had a thing for the athletic type and Maya would not hesitate to use it if it meant they could actually go that night.

"What about you Maya," Riley asked hesitantly, almost as if she was scared to bring up the topic. "You're eighteen now, have you heard anything from Josh since the summer?" Her friend had been waiting for the eighteen landmark for years, mostly for the conventional reasons, but also because of a long game that was promised years ago which she hadn't forgotten.

Maya bit her lip nervously, this was a bit of a sensitive topic for her. "Nothing," she responded, feeling a bit raw, "We haven't really talked since we came back from Philly. We used to at least text once in a while before. Ya know, just to check in, but I feel like he might be ignoring me. But, I'm probably just being paranoid," she concluded while shaking her head as if trying to convince herself of the truth in what she was saying. But all things said and done, she missed him and the conversations they used to have, and the warmth she felt flood her in his presence. It was a bit lonely without the constant reassurance of their long game, and Maya wasn't going to lie and say it wasn't. She missed his blue eyes, his dorky beanie, and the smile he'd flash towards her when they were around each other. Waiting was one of the hardest things she'd ever done. Having an age difference is never easy, and she was often riddled with insecurities. How could _he_ , who was surrounded by girls his own age all the time, _possibly be interested_ in the short best friend of his niece who was constantly obsessed with him? Constantly all over him. At what point were her advances too much? Were they too much? Because when she looked at him she could feel her heart palpitate as if it didn't know that _she was Maya Hart_ and this stuff didn't happen to her. But things were different around him and they always had been.

"It's not like I've tried texting him either, but I guess I was just hoping, you know?" Maya asked, desperately seeking for some form of reassurance. She felt a coil tighten in her stomach as she thought about what she was going to say next, "I guess I just imagined someday might have happened by now," she said quietly- phrasing her next words carefully, "I've liked him since I was 14… I just feel like I can't wait on him much longer." Seeing him in the summer was already tough. Having been so close with him the day before they left, only to not see him for a month. It may not have been a rejection, but that didn't stop it from feeling like one.

"Peaches," Riley cooed, holding her arms open, knowing how difficult saying that must have been for her best friend.

"No it's okay Riles, I-I'm gonna go out, I'll see you in a bit," Maya said hastily as she grabbed her coat for the second time that morning. She had suddenly felt the urgent need to get out of the room, maybe go for a walk and clear her head. The dorms were so small that she quickly discovered that it would be impossible to have alone time there, so she relocated her think-space to the park bench two blocks away. It wasn't ideal, and she had no idea what she would do come winter, but there weren't many options, so it would have to do.

"But you just got here!" Riley protested, "and we have to go to the party tonight!"

"I know, I'll be back before then," Maya said before closing the door quietly on her best friend.

"Well, fuck my life." Riley exclaimed exasperatedly. Things were always sensitive when it came to her uncle and best friend. So she turned again to her closet (knowing that _it_ at least she could handle), her eyes narrowing as she took it in, suddenly unsatisfied with her previous attempts. "Maybe the fifth time's the charm," she sighed. 

* * *

The timer for the ramen noodles had just began to ring when Riley's phone lit up excitedly. She felt a grin spread across her face, maybe her parents hadn't forgotten their morning call after all. But when she looked at the caller I.D. she couldn't help but feel disappointed with the words flashing across the screen.

"What do you want Josh?". Riley wasn't feeling particularly happy with her young uncle at the moment after hearing how much pain he was causing her best friend. Josh was family, but there were certain lines he could not cross, and it sounded like he had crossed quite a few. "You realize we have cellphones now right? You could have just texted me," she said testily, proud of her aggressive tone- maybe she had learned from Maya after all.

"Whatever Riley," Josh said with a laugh, "I'm going over to your parents tonight, I was just going to ask if you and Maya wanted to come."

"Excuse me? I just moved in a few days ago. Let me breathe a little," she replied with a bravado she wasn't quite feeling at the moment. She missed home, but she _had_ to get used to this.

"Oh come on Riles, it's not like you actually have plans for tonight anyways, you're just a kid" Josh drawled, fully expecting what was about to come next.

"Fuck you Josh," Riley spat while Josh gaped on the other side of the phone. Correction: he wasn't quite expecting _that_. "I'm not a little kid anymore! I have plenty of friends and we go out and do adult things, and for your information… we even do it AFTER ten o'clock. So yeah. Besides," she thought aloud without sparing a breath- almost like word vomit, "Maya and I have a frat party to attend tonight. Oh and by the way there are one hundred percent going to be hot boys there tonight." She paused for effect, relishing how Maya had rubbed off on her. "Now hmmm, let me think… a night partying with my friends and some hot guys or ditching my newfound freedom to go hang out with my parents when I was literally just living with them four days ago? I dunno about you, but it seems pretty straightforward to me."

It took Josh a few seconds to regain his composure, "Shit Riles, living with Maya has really changed you. That was almost sarcasm."

Riley began to giggle unabashedly, "Yeaahhh, I'm a bad girl now." She had tired of being the one person (likely in their entire high school) who repeatedly gasped at the sound of cursing. It was sad that it worked out this way, she reflected, but she was older now. And people took her seriously like this. And, at the very least, she did.

"Nice try Riley, we all know you're good to the bone. I have to admit this is raising some flags for me though," Josh said, faux concern dripping from his voice, "I promised Cory that I'd watch over you guys. Do you mind if I tag along?"

"Fine Uncle Josh, but you better not crowd my space. Unless I'm hella drunk and doing something ridiculous. If that's the case, please help."

"Whatever Riles," Josh said feeling suddenly tired. He did _not_ want to hear about his niece being drunk and doing ridiculous things. She may have been growing up, but he wasn't quite ready for that disaster yet. "I gotta go, could you text me the time and place?"

"Fine," Riley said in a resigned tone.

"And we're going over for dinner tomorrow with Cory and Topanga," Josh added hastily. "They do miss you, and even if that's not encouraging, Auggie needs help with his math homework and Cory and Topanga cannot remember pythagorean theorem for the life of them".

"FINE!" Riley laughed, "I'll come. But after this, you better give me some space," she said while attempting to sound threatening.

"Yeah sure Riles, whatever. I'll see you tonight," he chuckled before hanging up.

* * *

Maya reeled as the smell of marijuana permeated the air. _Riley is going to freak_ , she thought while heading for the drinks table. They had only been there an hour and the arrays of cans were almost empty, but thankfully the iced tea wasn't, so Maya grabbed a solo cup and began to pour, feeling the need to refresh a bit. That last experience had felt a little too personal, she recalled with a shudder. He had just appeared behind her while she had been dancing with Riley, grabbed her hips, and began to grind on her, his hands travelling far too fast and much too far. That in mind, she kept pouring her drink, but moved away when she felt a warm body settling on the counter space beside her. She wasn't quite ready to deal with that situation again. But all thoughts flew out of her mind when she heard the voice she'd been dying to hear for weeks now.

"I see you have better taste than all the kids around here," Josh whispered in her ear as he saw an ear-splitting grin slowly appear on her face. It made him happy, even though it shouldn't, that he still had that effect on her.

"What can I say, everyone's got it wrong- Iced tea is the true life of the party," she said, turning to face him with her arms out. He wrapped her into his chest and heard her vaguely murmur, "I missed you," before feeling a stone drop in his stomach as quickly released her. He scratched the back of his head, eyes glancing over her in appreciation. He had known she would be there tonight, but it didn't really help the surge of longing he felt looking at her in her short dress and wild hair- causing him to see nothing but tousled gold as he felt her grab him again, obviously disappointed that he had let go so soon.

"You don't get to get rid of me that easily," she said- a real, but disguisedly mocking threat hanging in her words, "So nice try, Boing."

Josh let himself hold her for a moment before reluctantly pulling away and holding her at arm's length as he slowly took her in.

"You haven't been drinking, have you?" he asked, confused by the lack of flush in her eyes that everyone else in the room seemed to be living on. It also gave him a good opportunity to look at her. Like _really_ look at her. He saw her blue eyes framed by mascaraed lashes, her dark eyebrows, and her smile as she beamed at him, surprised that he had noticed so quickly.

"I don't drink," she admitted, "It's pretty strange, but I don't like what it does to me." It had been difficult for her to make that decision, the idea of release was so tempting at times, but Maya functioned off the basis that even if she could not control what happened around/to her, she could control herself- and that would be increasingly difficult to do with her mind being numb from alcohol. So, Maya drew the line at coffee when it came to drugs.

"Wow Maya," Josh said as he processed what she had said, rather impressed. However, his next words were cut off as Riley screamed at Maya from across the room, while grinding on some guy from the tennis team- which was a sight Josh honestly wished he did not have to see.

"HEY MAYA, LOOK! I'M A BAD GIRL!' she yelled happily from across the room. Maya laughed as Riley began to clearly redouble her efforts as the guy began to moan behind her- his head involuntarily dropping to her shoulder. Riley flashed a thumbs up towards her best friend, before resuming her motions.

Maya grinned, drunk Riley was always a sight to see. Josh groaned from beside her, clearly scarred from what he had just seen.

"I'm a shit chaperone, aren't I?" he asked pointlessly while pouring himself a drink.

"Yup," Maya replied cheerfully while attempting to fix the collar on his flannel shirt- an oddly intimate gesture. "You showed up an hour late too Boing, so I'll have to dock some points on your monthly report."

"Please do. Honestly, maybe it'll deter Cory. It seemed _a bit_ paranoid to babysit two eighteen year olds, but _she's_ scaring me," Josh pouted, gesturing to Riley without looking.

"Yeah, okay Josh," Maya sighed, glancing at Riley who had moved to lying on a couch with her feet in the air, laughing at seemingly nothing- the guy having left her when she could no longer stand without spinning. "I think it's time me and her head home anyways."

"That sounds like a good idea," Josh said, relief blatantly apparent in his voice. He wasn't sure why he'd expected anything different from a frat party, he hadn't really gone to any since second year, but he'd sure seen some things he wished he hadn't that night, and that may have been an understatement.

Maya whistled, "Come on Riles!" she called. A drunk Riley needed to be babied, otherwise the night would surely end in tears. "It's time to go home now, Honey," she cooed, grasping her under her arms as they had done when they were younger. "Josh, can you grab her other side? I think she can still walk with some help," Maya said, her protectiveness for her best friend taking the lead at the moment. "If you could just help us to the steps, Josh, we should be fine from there. We live just around the corner, really," she said.

Josh frowned, a sleepy Riley almost falling as he loosened his grip. "Do you honestly think I'm going to let you walk home alone? It's like eleven-thirty."

Maya felt her heart beginning to race, excited over what he had just said. To say that she lacked a loving male presence in her life would have been an understatement until three years ago when Shawn had walked in and made what she hoped to be a permanent residence there. And though she did value her independence over everything else, it made her heart flutter to know that Josh, the boy she had liked for basically a millenia, cared enough to be concerned. It felt nice. It felt _right_.

"Fine," she grumbled, hoping her excitement wouldn't be conveyed in her tone, "but don't get used to it. I didn't move out to be followed around by yet another Matthews all the time." She said as they began to walk slowly with Riley between them half asleep and mumbling incoherently. _She is definitely going to need some aspirin tomorrow,_ Maya thought, feeling bad for what a sucky morning Riley was going to have.

"No worries Maya, I promised Riles I'd stay out of your guys' way," he said laughingly. He felt her pause.

"Don't," Maya said suddenly. "Don't, okay?" she paused hesitantly. "I missed you. Come over whenever you want. Riles is just trying to be threatening, she's been practicing it lately. She'll love having you around, and… so will I," she said shyly, looking up at him with adoring eyes.

It was a look she reserved for him, he observed. He had never seen her look at people with that much honesty in her expression, and realizing that was unnerving, because _shit._ They were in deep.

After an uneventful walk and Maya almost having a panic attack when she realized she didn't have keys (thankfully Riley did), they made it to their dorm. Josh carefully lifted his niece onto her bed, relieved at how innocent she looked asleep. He could almost imagine that she hadn't grown up at all. She was still just precious, naive Riles at the moment, and he couldn't get enough of it.

Maya watched him tenderly, smiling at how careful he was with his niece. Really, how careful he was with everyone he loved. She had seen it in him everywhere, but it never got old- especially when he was that careful with her. It was rarely physical; Maya hated to be babied. But being aware of others' emotions, (watching as he called it), let the two of them to be in tune with one another to a degree which very few had observed. One who always had difficulty deciphering her emotions and the other spending his life learning how to. That being said, there were a few things she was sure of and she had dissected her reasoning behind them very early on: her friends, her mother, Shawn, the Matthews, Riley, and _Josh_. So no, she never had to revisit her feelings for him. Once they were cemented, they had stayed there despite the harsh elements they had been exposed to, because those kinds of feelings- they never went away.

Josh watched as Maya walked casually to Riley's bedside, placing the bottle of aspirin and a glass of water on the bedside table. He couldn't even pretend that she hadn't grown up. It was apparent in her every action, every mannerism. She had always been mature, but now not only had she grown in the physical sense (a fact Josh was very aware of since her visit in the summer), but she had grown to thrive off her emotions and memories rather than drown in them. And the new ones she made on the way only helped her to stay afloat. He had always been proud of her, but today he felt it resurge inside him as he saw her gently move the hair off of his niece's forehead before motioning at him to step outside of the bedroom.

"Hey I was going to make a cup of coffee, did you want some?" she asked nervously, realizing how the request might come across considering it was almost 12 am. Not having talked with him for the last month set her slightly on edge, and the wound was still a little raw, but she could never kick him out, and that was power-play that freaked her out to no end.

"I'll pass, but honestly? Maya it's the middle of the night. Why on earth are you drinking coffee?" he asked incredulously while fiddling with his jacket, very aware of their close proximity and wondering how it was that they always gravitated towards one another.

"Coffee is my preferred vice," she stated matter-of-factly. "I like it black… like my soul," she added, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Yeah right," he smirked, heading to the door. "I'll leave you to your demons, Maya."

Maya saw him step outside and reach in his pocket for… his beanie. _Of course_ , Maya smiled. It was worn down, but it was the same as she remembered. She looked up at him, meaning to be brief before letting him head out, but she ended up looking at the blue orbs looking down at her and got caught in the memories they had. She felt a painful ache and found herself desperately wishing for someday, anything really, and the only way the pain lessened was when she stepped closer to him. And closer. And she was so close that she could feel his breath fan out across her face. She lost herself for a moment, thriving on his nearness, his _Josh-ness_ almost, despite her logic being incomprehensible. Leaning forwards, she felt Josh stiffen as she pressed a kiss onto his cheek, wishing more than anything to travel down a bit further and capture his lips in hers. But she stayed where she was. His skin was soft, with a light down, and it was just so Josh that she couldn't handle it. She pulled away quickly, suddenly afraid of what she had just done and hastily closed the door. On the other side, Josh opened his eyes, shocked as guilt-ridden words were stolen from his lips as he processed what just happened, dread overwhelming him and tempting him to knock again, before ultimately deciding that it could wait until the morning. It had been a long night for everyone, and processing time was needed.

Maya groaned, walked over to her bed, and collapsed- coffee forgotten. She had always wanted someday, especially since the summer, but she hadn't forgotten their month of no contact. It still hurt and she just wanted to sleep. Sleep and forget.


	5. Conversing Over Croissants

**Hey fam,**

 **I have an apology to make right off the bat. I am so sorry that this update is ridiculously late, it's just been a hell of a week with school and I didn't want to post anything that wasn't at the quality standard that I aim for in my writing. I decided to split this chapter into two parts for chapter length consistency, and also so that I could post what I had as soon as possible (Pt 2 of this chapter still has to be written). I need to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart, your reviews make me ecstatic and having this story as an escape when life becomes stressful is amazing and most of that joy can be attributed to all of you lovely people. Thank you for taking the time to read and review, it is greatly appreciated. The next chapter will be up either before or by next Wednesday (depending on how hard school kicks my ass).**

 **I love you guys so much :)**

 ** _\- SleepingStarlight_**

* * *

As the light began to maneuver its way around the curtains the next morning, Maya couldn't help but groan in exasperation. Sure, it was better than Riley jumping and wrestling her out of bed (a regular occurrence since their trip to Philly), but after everything that happened last night, she wished the next day hadn't arrived yet. Not only for her poor best friend who was likely groaning in pain while struggling to get food after her wild adventures the night before, but because with a new rotation of sunrises and sunsets, she was forced to face what she had done last night. It should have been easy to brush off. It was one kiss on the cheek and people didn't freak out over that because there _was_ no obvious reason to freak out over that. Unless, that is, you were Maya and Josh, because in that case, a full-fledged panic-attack was justified (if not necessary). Years of unresolved emotions, useless promises, and small talks about the big picture without any results made it so that anything vaguely romantic between the two of them caused red flags to immediately be raised, because suddenly everything felt like it was at stake. There was no such thing as casual with her and Josh. Casual dating was dangerous, it could tear apart the family dynamic they both belonged to. Alliances would be made, wars would be fought, and grudges would forever be held if the two of them took their relationship lightly and screwed everything up. So instead of the typical university student post-party alcohol-induced hangover, Maya had a pounding in her head from a different kind of need, almost a different kind of vice altogether. One that she hadn't been able to shake all her life, one that was just as dangerous in different (yet exciting) ways, and lastly one that took form in an adorable beany-clad, blue eyed university student that she kissed on the cheek last night for the first time in her life. And the absolute worst part was that she couldn't find an ounce of regret.

So with an absent-minded groan, Maya pulled her blankets off and padded over to Riley's room sullenly, not in the mood for anything too cheerful at the moment, and low-key relieved when she saw that Riley was going to be kind of dull today. She always paid a high price for her wild nights, yet that never seemed to stop her.

"Hey Riles, rise and shine!" Maya called while heading over to the window and hastily opening the blinds to let sunlight through. "You can't stay in your dark room forever!" she said with a smile as she looked out to see all the trees changing colour outside. If she could get Riley out of bed, she knew that the brunette would be ecstatic with the fall colours, likely picking out outfits for the both of them and demanding they take a photo shoot while heading to Starbucks. And while it pained Maya to admit her best friend was pretty basic, it was the truth (and she loved it). Besides, her Instagram feed never looked better than when Riley was involved- a fact she had to grudgingly admit. However, all her attention was immediately redirected to her best friend, who at the moment, was groggily lifting her torso off the bed and raising her hand dramatically to point at the window before collapsing once again.

"Are we on the SUN Maya?! Close the damn blinds," she muttered while stuffing her face back into the pillow. "And you're tooooo loud, ju-just close your head hole."

"It's called a mouth, Honey," Maya cooed while sitting on the bed and turning Riley to face her. "Take an aspirin, okay? You'll feel better and then I'll take you for coffee and croissants!" Maya said with faked enthusiasm, Riley would eat it all up anyways. "You like croissants don't you Riles? With great big chunks of chocolate that are all gooey and delicious! You get them all over your face and then you ask for three more because who on earth would only eat one croissant?!"

"I know!" Riley said in exasperation, still refusing to open her eyes.

"So come on Honey. Why don't you get up, throw on a pair of pants and I'll take you down to the cafe. I think we've got some things to talk about."

"Why do we always have things to talk about?!" Riley complained while flipping onto her other side away from Maya. "We don't even have the bay window anymore, why does our life feel like a trashy soap opera?"

"Speak for yourself," Maya grumbled. She didn't really need _this_ kind of life advice from her best friend at the moment.

"Oh come on Maya, it's you more than anyone." Riley said, her head beginning to clear a little as she reached for the water and downed an aspirin. "You and my uncle, you're both so dramatic. I like you. You're too young for me. Please love me. I hate you. I like you (again). Get a grip!"

"Well someone isn't getting any croissants this morning," Maya huffed while heading for the door. She didn't need to be told that she had a majorly dysfunctional semi-relationship with her best friend's uncle, believe her, she had known that piece of information for years. Whether or not she ever did anything to change their situation was a different story altogether, but frankly, some things had to be let go. One kiss on the cheek wouldn't change everything if she thought about it rationally. She didn't even have to tell anyone- and she was sure as hell that he wouldn't.

So as she grabbed a pair of boots for the trek to the nearest cafe to drown her sorrows in coffee, Maya stuck her head back in Riley's door frame. "Don't keep me waiting, Riles," she quipped before stepping back out into the hallway, laughing as she heard her best friend scramble to get ready while managing to hit several pieces of furniture in the process (or so it sounded at least). One could never be sure. 

* * *

Maya grinned as she sat across from her best friend in their booth at Starbucks. After a hard walk from their dorm in the crisp September weather, Riley's cheeks were flushed a bright pink, and her eyes sparkled again with their non-hungover vigour. They had constantly stopped along the way, Maya using her phone to capture pictures of the brunette sitting in piles of bright leaves, her subject using the time to throw fallen acorns at squirrels and giggling madly as they jumped away in surprise. It had been peaceful, and Maya could almost stop obsessing over her actions the night before, so it surprised her when Riley reached across the table and light cradled her cheek.

"What's wrong, Peaches?" Riley asked, confusion muddling her features. "You've been off all morning. I just made a joke about Lucas's Pappy Joe and you didn't say a thing."

Maya looked up, met the gaze of her best friend, and her resolve immediately crumbled. In all honesty she was a bit surprised that she had even lasted this long. Living with each other had been a dream come true to them. Despite the innumerable sleep overs and impromptu vacations with one another, the two could never claim to be inseparable, in large part because they still slept under different roofs every night. So planning their university life together, choosing a residence, and living the life they had always wanted was not taken for granted. And despite the brief annoyance Maya felt, (knowing that her best friend could read her like an open book could be a bit trying at times), she still loved this situation more than any alternative. So with a clear conscience (and a part of her sighing in relief) she blurted out what had been plaguing her all morning.

"I kissed Josh last night," she burst.

"WHAT?!" Riley shouted, jumping out of her seat. How could she not have figured something _that_ big out by now?

"It was on the cheek! It was on the cheek," Maya hastily reassured, hoping that it would lessen the blow and mentally cursing herself for not mentioning it sooner.

"Oh," Riley said softly as she sat back down, reaching across the table for her blonde counterpart's hand and clasping it gently. "That's not that big of a deal, is it?" she asked hesitantly. "It's not like you slept together or something," she shrugged. "But," she asked seriously, trying to discern Maya's feelings, "was this a big deal for you? I just figured that you must have done it at some point before with all the long game nonsense you two concocted."

"Trust me," Maya sighed, "I've wanted to. One time he literally ran away from me when we were caught under the mistletoe. Granted, I did come on a bit strongly for a ten year old."

Riley smiled. She could still remember the pint sized blonde looking at the ornamented ceiling above her, smiling mischievously, then yanking her thirteen year old uncle away from a conversation with Cory and attempting to bring his lips to hers. However, before the fatal moment could occur and with a grace that even he couldn't explain, Josh managed to squeeze out of her tight grip and run in the other direction- ridiculously flustered that he had almost had his first kiss stolen by a _ten year old_. So much so that on the first day back at school after the break, he sought out Daisy Ternes and kissed her before she could get a word in edgewise. She had been in love with him for two years at that point, and Josh did _not_ want to have to worry about his first kiss for any longer.

So Riley laughed as she got caught in a tangled web of memories. Those two had been playing this game for far too long.

"Riley!" Maya cried out, "this isn't funny! He probably thinks I'm insane or something."

"Well, I guess that's the question isn't it," Riley said pensively, attempting to sober up despite the hilarity in the situation. "What is he thinking?"

"Yeah, that." Maya said with a resigned sigh. "I have no idea. Sometimes I feel like he may be reciprocating, other times he's drawing back so fast that I'm not even sure what happened. To be entirely honest, I don't enjoy being toyed with. I love him, but this is starting to feel a bit old. I'm four years older, but I feel like nothing has changed. At what point does this all become a bit excessive?"

Riley rested her head on her elbow carefully. Things were never easy with those two, and odds were they never would be. She loved her uncle, but in all honesty, she didn't really spend that much time with him anymore. She was growing up, she moved out, and she saw him on occasion whenever the time arose. A few texts here and there, a call the other day, and a few minutes in person ensured that they weren't strangers, but they weren't particularly close anymore. And since she was no longer on both ends of the conversation, she couldn't offer any consolation for her best friend at the moment, and that stressed her out. So she reverted to what little information she did know.

"Well, you can interrogate him tonight if you want. We're supposed to head over to my parents for dinner and help Auggie with math, although you won't really be much use for that," Riley joked while rolling her eyes. It still irked her that Maya had never been able to master simple math from sheer lack of trying. "We're picking Josh up from his apartment on the way there too so…" Riley tapered off as she registered the incredulous look Maya was shooting her.

"How about NO?" Maya whisper-shouted from across the booth, "Did you not just hear anything I said? I do _not_ want to see him, of all people, right now." _How could she possibly have thought that this was a good idea?!_

"Calm down, Honey!" Riley soothed, reaching to grasp her hand again and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "We'll just find you an excuse, it's no big deal. Besides, I don't know if everyone wants to deal with both you and Josh," she gestured wildly towards Maya, "and _whatever it is_ that you two have, around the dinner table. It's a bit of a downer."

"Yeah, okay," Maya sighed.

"But," Riley interjected, thinking through her previous statements carefully, "it might be a bigger statement to him if you are there, like all super nonchalant and everything."

"Make up your mind Riles!" Maya groaned, burying her face into the crook of her elbow. _Why did things always have to be so fucking confusing with that boy._

"I CHANGED MY MIND. I'M ALLOWED TO DO THAT," Riley shouted from across the table, raising a few eyebrows from other customers in the process.

"Well what do I do then?!" Maya questioned with exasperation, beginning to feel a little ticked at all this back and forth.

"I've changed my mind," Riley said with her chin up, expecting an attack from her best friend at any moment, "I think you should come. This is your family too, you shouldn't let him scare you away from what you love. Besides, I know this is a big deal for you, but _try to remember_ that is was _just_ a kiss on the cheek. It's practically irrelevant. Just forget about it."

"Fine Riles." Maya said, secretly happy with the brunette's conclusion, "I guess I was kind of hoping that you'd say that."

"Wait, then why did you make me think through all of that?!" Riley said accusingly.

"Well, I needed to be sure," Maya said with a coquettish grin.

"I hate you," Riley glowered.

"No you don't!" Maya sang while reaching for her cup and heading for the door, "You love me!"

"Damn it you're right," Riley cursed, before grabbing her coat and following.

* * *

"Maya wait up!" Riley called, huffing as she trailed behind her best friend from a distance. Uncharacteristically, the blonde had begun to break into a run half way through their walk, leaving a usually athletic Riley huffing as she tried to catch up.

"But I don't WANT TO," Maya squealed from ahead, a earsplitting smile spreading over her face. Riley couldn't help but return it despite her current exhaustion, there was something about a happy Maya that nothing could compare to. And seeing it right after everything that had happened the night before spoke volumes to Riley. She had always had a vague concern for her best friend's romantic affiliation with her uncle, but there was something about the two, that even when they drove each other off cliffs from stress, even when they played whatever long game they had decided on years ago, they were still confusingly happy around each other. Yes, Maya was stressed. How could she not be? Yet, at the same time, there was a glow on her face that Riley could only associate with the blonde's interactions last night, no matter how disastrous the consequences seemed.

"Maya I need to talk to you!" Riley shouted, happy for her best friend, but a few questions still plaguing her.

Maya stopped suddenly and turned back to look at the brunette, before skipping back to her side easily, the smile still dominating the majority of her face. Because despite how confusing everything with Josh seemed at the moment, there was no going back anymore. They were at a precipice and a resolution couldn't be avoided for any longer. The finality of it all was what had Maya smiling like a lunatic. She'd been playing the long game for so long at this point that she would live with whatever outcome came from it. Even though the negative one seemed pretty unlikely what with the way they constantly interacted- she had high hopes yet, and what was done, was done. She had to live with it.

"Peaches!" Riley cried, enveloping Maya's head in a soothing hug. "You came back to me!"

"I was just over there! What is it Honey?" Maya asked, her voice muffled through the fabric of Riley's coat.

"I kinda wanted to ask you something," Riley said sheepishly, pulling away and avoiding eye contact.

Maya grabbed her elbows and turned her around hastily, it wasn't like Riley to avoid conversations. "What is it?" Maya repeated, this time more seriously as she forced Riley to look her in the eye.

"Um, it's just the guy at the party last night kinda said some stuff that resonated a little bit."

Maya groaned, having Riley be the collateral damage of some drunk guy had been a fear since they first started living on campus. "Oh god, what did he say?"

"Well, he came up to me so we could dance together, and I thought he wanted to like _actually_ dance," Maya began to groan internally, it was just so Riley to assume that all college frat guys would be noble and chivalrous.

"I started dancing with him, a-and he started complaining a lot, saying that he wasn't getting any from it. So I tried grinding on him, and I think he liked it, but then he pushed me away saying that he shouldn't have expected anything better from a- from a," Riley began to choke a little. Not distraught, but still appalled from what had happened.

"Riles, hey," Maya soothed, pulling the brunette back into a hug. "It's okay. It's just one guy, and he's an idiot."

"But I don't think it is," Riley said in a resigned tone. "I know the guy's a jerk, and if I weren't so drunk I would have stomped on him or something, but I don't think he's the only one who thinks of me like that. I'm not sexy. It feels stupid to say it, but it's true. I had to go sit on the couch after, it was so embarrassing."

Maya grabbed her hand, dragging her over to a nearby bench. She felt like this was about more than just one guy at a frat party. "Riles, you're beautiful. You should have seen some of the girls eyeing your legs last night. Honestly, if looks could kill, you would have been dead five years ago when you hit your glo-up. Are you sure this is just about the guy last night?" Maya asked, anticipating where this was really coming from. Riley could have a fragile concept of herself at times, but it seemed unlikely that a drunk dude from a frat party would have her this torn up.

"I just can't help but wonder if Lucas left me because of it. I know it's unlikely," Riley began, lifting her hands in the air to show that it didn't necessarily make sense, "but it bugs me anyways."

"Hey, listen to me," Maya said carefully, "Lucas left because he needed to. He had a scholarship for Vet School in Texas, and he only went because _you_ said that he shouldn't give things up for you. That guy loved you, and trust me, he found you very sexy," Maya said with a twinkle in her eye.

Riley rested her head on her knees. She knew that Lucas had to leave, but the fact that he did so so easily left her questioning everything. He never fought for them, never seemed outwardly upset when she said that they had to break up. In all honesty, she only did so because she felt that he would be suggesting it at any moment then anyways. But when he never argued and just nodded solemnly, giving her a kiss on the cheek then leaving, she spent the rest of the week crying in bed at the end of her four year relationship. It hit home to say the least. And since then, Maya noticed that she had begun to try and attribute the blame on herself, subconsciously looking for reasons behind their break up in an effort to make sense of the inexplainable, unable to comprehend that sometimes things just didn't work out.

"Maybe he did, but he still left," Riley said, grimacing slightly as a tear fell down her cheek, before laughing without humour at the bitterness of life at times. Maya would have done anything to make it go away. She never thought that out of the two of them, it would be Riley who dealt with disappointment in relationships. She had just figured that tragic relationships were genetic, and that her's was just around the corner- not her best friend's. Riley was supposed to happy, she was always meant to be.

"You have to stop this Riles," Maya whispered, kissing the top of the brunette's head. "There was nothing you could do. He left, that's all on him."

"I don't know why it still hurts though," Riley said, rubbing her eyes in an attempt to return to normalcy.

Maya sighed, wrapping her arms tighter around Riley as the wind blew a little harder, "It was four years of your life Riles, that kind of stuff doesn't just go away in a heartbeat."

"I guess." Riley said, laying her head on the blonde's shoulder. For some reason, sitting on the park bench with her best friend and feeling the warmth along her right side from the proximity, she felt a sense of peace. Things hurt less- as they were meant to. 

* * *

**There was a large focus on the Riley/Maya relationship in this chapter, and I chose for it to be this way because the central theme of the show is their friendship- the one thing intended to last forever. I thought it was important to appreciate how wonderfully complex and rich their relationship is before we continue to establish any romantic interests. But to those who are missing Josh, (I myself miss writing about him), no worries because he will be in the next chapter, a lot! We'll see how dinner goes. Until next time!**


	6. An Eventful Evening

**Hi everyone!**

 **I swear to God that I'm usually very punctual, so this whole updating late thing is a bit shocking for me. This is a bit of a mediocre chapter, the writing didn't turn out as well as I hoped it would, so I just hope it doesn't disappoint! Thank you for your continued support, I truly appreciate it, and I apologize for this being two days later than promised. School has been kicking my ass lately; all of my teachers want work handed in before Christmas Break so everyone is like high-key stressed at the moment, myself included. Writing this story is such a great escape, and you lovely people make me look forward to update days, even though they are late at times! At any rate, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter, I certainly enjoyed writing it! I've mentioned this before, but please feel free to PM me if you have any questions/just feel like chatting, I love communicating with you guys!**

 **You guys are absolute gold, love you all!**

 **-SleepingStarlight**

* * *

 **From Josh:**

 **To Maya:**

 _Hey, we need to talk._

Maya sighed as she reached in her closet for the third time that evening, eyeing her phone in the process. Truthfully, she didn't want to talk, hell they had no reason to talk. It was just a kiss on the cheek, hardly news-worthy. But at the same time, she reasoned, they couldn't just magically move on from friendship to something more. They had to talk it out, and she knew they would be able to. Spending four years playing the Long Game, they had found ways to connect without being in a relationship, a practice which brought them together like nothing else. They didn't reach out very often- in fact they rarely did. But those few conversations from holiday parties or New Years always left her smiling like an idiot, a sentiment she had always hoped he reciprocated.

Unfortunately, that didn't make the difficult conversations any easier. It could be hard at times to maintain distance on an emotional level, but Maya knew if she let him venture too deep, she could never turn back. He was a bit like a drug at times: taken when absolutely necessary, sometimes recreationally, and always coveted. Not to mention highly addictive.

So she tossed her phone onto her bed fitfully and buried her face into a pile of sweaters. _Why can things never be simple?_ she thought miserably, before reaching over and grabbing a sweatshirt from the shelf below. There really wasn't much point in trying to look nice. Not only was it just the Matthews, but she had already embarrassed herself with Josh the night before. It really could only go downhill from there anyways.

"Maya! Come on," Riley called exasperatedly, walking and leaning against the door frame. "It's literally our first time visiting since we moved out, do we have to be late?" Riley, strangely enough, couldn't help but be slightly nervous. Growing up in a successful family, she always felt the need to prove herself and make her parents proud. However, living on her own lead her to encounter a certain dilemma. She had always basked in her parents approval, but now, living without their constant reassurance, she felt a blow to her self confidence that it would take some time to rebuild. She missed home with something palpable and could not wait to go back. "Are you honestly going to wear that?" Riley questioned skeptically, repressing her excitement as she surveyed the blonde's messy state.

"It's just your house Riles," Maya sighed, running a hand through her hair and sweeping it back into a ponytail. "Besides, I'm not entirely sure why you're dressed like you're dining with with the Queen. To each their own, I suppose."

"It's a bit much, isn't it?" Riley asked hesitantly, suddenly second guessing her dress and heels. She may have gotten a bit wrapped up in impressing her parents.

"Here," Maya called, tossing her an identical sweatshirt and a pair of sneakers, "I can't guarantee these'll make you look normal again, but they would definitely look cute."

"Yeah, I guess," Riley said dispassionately while reaching for a pair of leggings. With the impending winter, fall had become rather chilly at nights and in hindsight, the dress may not have been the best idea.

* * *

"You know I said to bring an umbrella," Maya stormed, cursing that she didn't grab her hoodie instead. The rain fell on them ceaselessly and Maya could feel the water squelching between her toes, causing her to grimace with every step towards Josh's apartment.

"Embrace it, Peaches!" Riley said ecstatically, lifting her face to the elements and smiling as they hit her face. She reached instinctively for Maya's hand, and pulled away- causing Maya to twirl semi-gracefully.

"We are not dancing, Riles!" Maya groaned, "I swear you've been possessed by a ten year old hippie Topanga." It truly did happen every once in awhile. "This is not cool, I just want to go dry off somewhere."

"I know you do, but where's the fun in that," Riley asked testily as she turned to her best friend with a grin, only to be met with a resolute frown. "Okay. Compromise. How about we skip there?" She asked, knowing without doubt that it was Maya's secret, favourite mode of transportation.

Maya looked up at her, a smile spreading over her face, "Deal".

And if anyone questioned why two university students were skipping through the park and down the sidewalks, they didn't say anything. They obviously just didn't understand.

* * *

"Riles, let's just wait down here. We don't want to invade his apartment!" Maya begged, not wanting to bust in uninvited.

"Maya." Riley sighed, growing slightly impatient, "It's raining outside. We are soaked. I know his apartment number. Someone left the lobby door open for us. He was going to meet us down here in five minutes anyways. So I don't know about you, but I'm not waiting out here any longer!"

"But-"

"No. It was just a kiss on the cheek," Riley groaned, reaching for the door handle and pulling it open, "I think you can handle saying hello five minutes earlier than you planned to. You'll live," before walking into the lobby and forcing Maya to follow.

"Why do you hate me, Riles?" Maya sighed as she planted her feet firmly on the elevator floor, leaning against the rail surrounding its perimeter.

"Not funny Maya," Riley quipped while digging out her phone and texting her parents. The elevator dinged, and Riley reached for Maya's hand without looking, peeling her frame off the elevator wall and dragging her down the hallway. "Perfect, 32 B," Riley said, happy that she didn't have to roam the entire floor to find her uncle's stupid apartment. She knocked carefully, clasping Maya's hand tightly when she began to attempt to pull away.

The door opened quickly, revealing an unfamiliar face struggling to put on a pair of earrings. Her short red hair hung in loose halos around her face and the smile that spread over her face was one of the most genuine that Riley had seen. She was gorgeous. Maya stood slightly confused and was about to ask Riley whether she had the wrong apartment number before the redheaded individual across from her spoke.

"Hey! You're here for Josh right?" She asked brightly, opening the door further to let them walk in.

"Yeahhhh," Riley said, confusion muddling her features. Maya remained stock still, beginning to fear her own suspicions.

"You're his niece, Riley, right? I think he showed me a picture of you before." she queried, her eyes switching to Maya and smiling as recognition crossed over her face, "And I'm guessing you're Maya, right?" Her blond locks and heart-shaped face were still entirely recognizable from the old family photos Josh had shown her when they were down in Philly.

"Um, yeah," Maya said somewhat timidly, "that's me."

"Oh my god, you're both sopping," The redhead realized as she looked more carefully at the two girls. "Here I'll grab Josh and a few towels for you to dry off."

"It's okay," Riley interjected, she had been the first to overcome from their initial confusion. "We're about to head back out anyways, so there's not really much point."

"Are you sure?" she asked, concerned.

"Yeah, it's no big deal," Riley reassured with a smile. The initial shock had worn off to a degree and she was beginning to warm slightly towards the stranger.

"Okay, if you're sure," she responded hesitantly, "I'll just go grab Josh, be right back."

As her back disappeared into what Maya assumed to be the bathroom, Riley turned carefully to Maya, knowing how her best friend sometimes jumped to conclusions. "I'm sure it's fine," she said softly, muffling her voice as she heard footsteps returning.

"Hey, niche!" Josh called half-heartedly, keeping his eyes mostly on Maya. He could see slight panic in her features, it was subtle, but still apparent under close inspection. "Ready to do some math?" he asked, hoping to keep his voice neutral.

"Maybe when I dry off," Riley replied with a grin.

"Why the hell didn't you pack an umbrella?" he questioned incredulously as he reached for his raincoat in the closet.

"It wasn't raining when we left," Riley responded defensively.

"That's true Josh," the redhead called from the other room as Josh rolled his eyes with a slight laugh. "It only started raining five minutes ago."

"I was in the shower, Alina, you know that," he responded while laughing.

"Like hell I do," she called back in a joking tone. "If you took any longer I would be late for my interview."

Maya glanced nervously towards Riley, apprehension dawning on her features as she began to understand the situation before her.

"You'd better get going, Matthews!" Alina called as she walked out of the bathroom and grabbed Josh's hand, pulling him in for a quick peck on the cheek, before rushing to look for her shoes. "You don't want to be late for dinner again, Core's going to flip out if you do."

"Maybe that's why I'm late," Josh teased, searching for a big enough umbrella to cover the three of them on the walk.

"Ugh, whatever," Alina joked, turning around to grin at him sweetly. "Just get going you lazy ass."

Josh reached for her hand again, slightly tense and highly aware of his audience, yet leaning forward to place a chaste peck on the redhead anyways. "Your interview will be amazing," he said carefully, "You're going to kill it."

"We'll see," Alina smiled and pulled away, playfully shoving him towards the door. "Now go have fun with your family, I'll see you when you get home."

"Deal," Josh said, holding the door open for his niece and Maya, who trailed out with shock muddling her features.

"Bye girls!" Alina called as she returned to rushing around the apartment and preparing for her interview within the hour.

The door closed, and immediately Riley turned to her uncle, giving him a hard shove away from her. "You know what that's for," she said coldly, before grasping Maya's elbow and pulling her down the hallway, very aware of the turmoil in Maya's thoughts at the moment.

Josh trailed behind them, words trailing off his lips as he attempted to form them. Someday wasn't that day, but that never meant he had wanted to hurt her. He and Alina had been together for well over a year, and no matter what strange heart palpitations he had around Maya, he would not give up where he was in his life now. He was happy, he was in love, and surely he could sort everything out with Maya- communicating had always been one of their strengths. But seeing the hurt look in her eyes when she glanced back briefly, he knew why he had waited so long to tell her. He was a coward, and he never was able to stand hurting her. Yet he had done exactly that by not laying all of his cards on the table. His greatest fear was that he was no longer trustworthy, because _fuck it_ , he knew she would never be as open with him again. Maya either hated or adored people; there was not much middle ground. And to his extreme sadness, he knew what side of the partition he was on now.

* * *

Maya sat on the couch at the Matthews, flipping through channels while simultaneously attempting to rid her mind of the thoughts that reverberated endlessly. She could hear Cory and Topanga arguing in the kitchen about parsley and laughed quietly. They loved each other so much, but they were never able to get over their differing opinions on the specific herb. She often joked with Riley that had it been any other couple, it likely would have been cause for divorce based on how adamantly they stood by their preferences. _What a pair_ , Maya thought as a small smile spread over her face. They made everything seem possible.

"Buddy, you got it!" Josh laughed from across the room as Auggie began to finally understand the logic behind Pythagorean Theorem. Maya couldn't help but detest Josh as she listened to how easily he carried himself despite very recently stomping on her heart. She was bitter to say the least, and rightfully so. However, her distaste vanished as she heard Auggie's joyful laugh; that kid could always put a grin on her face. She reflected aimlessly while watching the television screen in front of her, being home felt right. Even the tall brunette across the room couldn't make her feel any differently, because in all honesty, Maya knew that this was how things were supposed to be.

She was so consumed in her thought process that she missed the light footsteps crossing the room towards her. "MAYA!" Auggie yelled in her ear joyfully, "I GOT IT!"

"Good job, kid!" Maya responded without shifting her eyes from the screen, knowing that if Auggie had walked over, _he_ likely had as well. "Maybe now you can teach me, Aug."

"Woah, wait," Auggie began, his eyes bugging, "You don't know how to do this?! You're like 18!"

"Yeah, okay," Maya sighed dramatically, "cue the dumb blonde jokes, I can take it. But tell me this," she paused, turning and looking at Auggie with a challenging glare, "can you explain the significance of Van Gogh's _Starry Night Over the Rhônde_?"

"Well," Auggie started hesitantly, "you did tell me a little bit about it, so maybe yeah." Riley began to giggle from the corner where she had been hiding with her book, as Maya got up slowly and circled the perimeter of the couch before setting herself in front of Auggie, shooting him death glares while attempting to ignore the other Matthews flanking his right side.

"Are you implying that you're smarter than me, kid?" She asked menacingly, watching the young boy flinch before responding with careful articulation.

"Well-"

"Ookay, let's avoid that disaster," Josh intervened, shoving Auggie behind him and turning to face her growl. "We need to talk," he stated, internally trembling at the mixture of threat and pain that was apparent in her features.

"No." She snarled, attempting to turn away from him. "We don't."

"Yes. We do." Josh said simply as he reached for her hand and pulled her back before leaning forwards and throwing her over his shoulder, despite her protests. "You can't avoid this Maya," he said quietly, smiling as he considered his next words. "Bay window, bay window right now."

Riley observed the scene from afar, highly amused. She knew from personal experience that Maya hated to be man-handled, but those two really did need to talk. And better yet, it likely wouldn't grow destructive due to the nature of their time restraint. Dinner was almost ready after all, and she was more than happy to loan out her bay window in the meantime. She was still furious with Josh, but she couldn't help but hope that it would be put to good use.

* * *

"What do you want, Josh?" Maya groaned as she sat on Riley's bed exasperatedly. She really didn't need this right now.

"Maya, you know we have to talk," he replied while walking over to sit on the bay window, figuring that she likely needed some space at the moment.

"About what?" She threw back at him viciously. She was tired, upset, and emotionally drained, and _this_ was not helping anything.

"Maya, you know what." Josh responded while rubbing his forehead in frustration. They had always been able to talk, so he couldn't understand why she felt the need to dance around the topic. Unless, he hurt her that much. And as tragic as that was, it was entirely possible.

"Oh really?" She asked sarcastically. "I do now, do I? _Hmmm_ , I wonder what could possibly be bothering me?". She paused, catching her breath before continuing ragefully, "Maybe it was the slap in the face when I walked into your apartment? Or-or, maybe it was our flirting? Oh, no, I think I got it this time: maybe it was my kiss? Or maybe it's because I TRUSTED you, and you didn't give a fuck! Who the hell do you think you are Josh?!" She yelled at him, releasing all of the emotions she had collected throughout the evening.

"Maya, I'm sorry. I never meant to lead you on," Josh pleaded with a forlorn look in his eyes. He knew a version of this would happen, yet that didn't stop his guilt from increasing tenfold when he looked into her pained blue eyes.

"You never meant to lead me on? So what was that thing you told me, all those years ago? I can't seem to recall it." She stated, shredding him into slivers with her mocking tone. "It was something about being together in the end, I think. Something about a long game, Josh! Do you even know what that means?!"

Josh looked at her carefully, watching as she paced the room while ringing her hands- unable to contain her agitation and a few tears beginning to gather in the corners of her eyes. Of course he knew what that had meant; he had suggested their deal after all. But it was unfair to expect life to diligently follow the route they had intended it to.

"Yeah, I do." He responded quietly, not daring to say anything else.

Maya stopped pacing and sat on the bed again, looking at her shoes and allowing her hair to form a curtain around her face.

"When did you meet her?" She asked, unable to keep the pain from lacing into her tone.

"Second year," he answered diligently, his heart racing guiltily. It sounded significantly worse when he said it aloud.

"How long have you been together?" Maya asked, cringing internally as she heard his answer.

"A year and a half," he replied, avoiding the glare she shot him.

" _What the fuck?_ " Maya questioned incredulously, "Why haven't I heard about this before?"

"Well, we didn't really see each other that often, so it never really came up. Cory and Topanga knew, I was surprised they didn't tell Riley."

Maya sighed knowingly, slightly annoyed with her best friend's parents. "They wanted to protect me. They knew it would tear me up."

Josh remained silent, feeling a twitch in his hand. He had _never_ wanted to hurt her like this.

"Do you love her?" Maya asked with a small voice, terrified of his answer as she tucked her hair behind her ear and met his gaze hesitantly, loving and hating how his eyes softened as they met hers.

Josh gulped nervously, but never broke eye contact with her as he blushed and smiled slightly, "Yeah," he admitted quietly, "I do."

Maya looked at him with the intention to smile, but she couldn't force herself to. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. She could feel her heart racing in her chest and closed her eyes as she felt another tear attempt to squeeze out. "I have to go," she stated calmly, despite the raging emotions causing turmoil inside. She just couldn't look at him at the moment, it was like reopening a wound. So she wordlessly grabbed her things and stalked out of the room, not pausing to listen as he called her to stop, if only for a minute.

It was late, but she couldn't find it in herself to care. She walked quickly to the subway station and ran into her apartment when she saw it in sight, promptly lying on her back and looking at the glowing stars on her ceiling. Why did this have to hurt so much, she questioned pointlessly. She lifted her arm and began to trace constellations aimlessly- a habit from her childhood. It never got old and she never lost her love for it. She couldn't help but question how if something as irrelevant as that was indispensable, what made her relationship with Josh so easily the opposite? Was their progress simply a figment of her imagination?

She turned onto her side and looked at her alarm clock, remembering with a smile when Riley had given it to her. She had been consistently late to pick her up before school, and Riley (with a type of exasperation atypical to her usual personality) had gone out and bought the loudest alarm clock she could find, snuck into Maya's room, and installed it, gluing a box over the outlet so Maya could never unplug it. Of course, they had had to rip it off before they moved, but Riley did not hesitate to reinstall it in their dorm, despite warnings from the heads of doing anything which may permanently damage the room.

The soft yellow glow was soothing, and Maya stared at it until she began to feel her eyelids drooping. Within ten minutes, she heard the door to her room open and felt a pajama clad Riley climb into her bed and curl her arm around Maya's side. The alarm light seemed to be flickering, and Maya couldn't help but compare it to a candle before she finally closed her eyes- tempted for the escape only sleep could offer her at the moment.

* * *

She woke up the next morning and felt a sense of calm wash over her. She smiled, grateful for the warm, brunette-haired bundle curled into her side, and turned to check her phone, only to see a single text from Josh on her homescreen.

 **From Josh:**

 **To Maya:**

 _I'm sorry, I understand if you need space._

Maya sighed and closed her eyes, attempting to come to terms with events from the night before. It wouldn't happen immediately; she had experienced enough disappointment in her life to know that deep cuts took time to heal, and even longer if they were not cared for. So she turned to her screen, mustered her strength, and typed what was likely the most concise and painful text that she had ever sent.

 **From Maya:**

 **To Josh:**

 _I'm happy for you._

She watched as he began typing immediately, surprised that he was hanging on to her every word so carefully.

 **From Josh:**

 **To Maya:**

 _I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I didn't want you to find out this way._

Maya hesitated as she read his text. It was a bit of an understated apology. He could write it in the sky and she would still be livid. So she replied as graciously as she could in the circumstances, attempting not to jostle a still sleeping Riley.

 **From Maya:**

 **To Josh:**

 _Just promise you'll tell me if this ever happens again. This hurt more than it should/could have._

 **From Josh:**

 **To Maya:**

 _I promise. Maybe we should have planned this whole someday thing a bit better :/_

Maya groaned, letting her head hit the pillows again as she tossed her phone to the foot of her bed. She was incredibly fed up, because, in all honesty, they probably should have.

* * *

 **Brief Author's Note:** **Please don't hate me, eeep! It may not seem like it, but Alina's character is absolutely crucial, and I'm like low-key in love with her myself. She's honestly just an amazing person. We'll learn more about her and Josh in the next chapter. So, until the next update!**


	7. A Coffee Run

**Hey lovelies!**

 **Is this **gasp** an actually on time chapter update?! You guys left so many reviews last chapter, and trust me, I will answer all your questions in the note on the next chapter. Thank you for taking the time to leave a review, y'all are amazing [insert heart-eyes emoji]. There is still so much more to come, and I'd like to thank you all for sticking around even though the plot can be frustrating at times. This chapter may not be very satisfying, but in all honesty this was the first chapter I wrote for this story, so it feels crazy to post it! I've read it so many times since :p Again please feel free to private message me with questions, I love talking with you guys. Lastly, I'm going to have to ask for an extra week for the next chapter you guys, it's a reealllyyy long one for what I'm used to and I'd like to have time to write it carefully/edit so it's not absolute trash when I post it. I also have a Josh/Maya one-shot on the go right now, it will likely be a sequel to _A Day In Six Weeks_ so I'm also super hyped about that at the moment as well!**

 **Until next time you guys, love you!**

 ** _\- SleepingStarlight_**

* * *

It had been roughly a year and a half after he and Maya had decided on playing the long game, and in all honesty, Josh tried his very best not to overthink his situation with Maya. They both had their separate lives to live, and if it worked out for them someday, then well, they made it. Besides, this philosophy was nothing but healthy for him. To spend his university years debating the ethics of dating a girl who was off limits would slowly drive him insane. At least, that's how he liked to think of it. So when he was in the university library one night (working on his assignment), and there was a curly redhead sitting across the room ripping up page after page as time went by, he curbed his slight guilt and figured that he wasn't the only one having a rough night. So when he left within the hour for his bi-hourly coffee run to the shop on the third floor, he picked up an extra. After all, he could empathize with the helplessness associated with killer homework. From across the room, he could tell that she sat with her head resting on her arms, as though she was trying to sleep despite the mess that surrounded her. So when he walked over, gently setting the cup down on the desk space beside her, he spoke quietly , "I hope everything's alright, you just seemed like you could use one," and began to walk away once he realized it was unlikely that he would get a response.

He had just turned around when he heard the softest tone saying "Thank you," and she slowly raised her head up from the desk to reveal a pair of wide-set grey eyes, slightly puffy from lack of sleep. "Sorry. I'm just exhausted. You didn't have to do that by the way," she said as she seemed to reflexively reach for the coffee. She let out a weak moan when she felt the hot caffeine run down her throat.

"To be entirely honest, I think I did." Josh chuckled.

She narrowed her eyes, not appreciating the small dig. "What's your name?" she asked quietly, suddenly causing him to be nervous.

"Joshua Matthews at your service. But you can call me Josh, everyone does" he replied with a slight grin. He had a newfound appreciation for this easy give and take. He could flirt as he pleased without consequence, an idea he never found strange until he met and acknowledged his feelings for Maya. "And you?" he asked, suddenly curious to know more after his last revelation.

"Alina," she responded while flipping her curls to the other side. Her hair really was quite beautiful, Josh mused, there were different tones of red, and even blond, making it seem almost ethereal and fiery. There was something about the way she examined him that made him feel a tight coil winding in his stomach. This hadn't happened since… _Fuck,_ he thought, _this hasn't happened since Maya._ Her next words snapped him back to reality, "and unfortunately for you, I'm not at your service. But if you'd let me... I wouldn't mind returning the favour sometime. Maybe we could go for coffee or something," she suggested, her tone shifting from snappy to shy surprisingly quickly as a blush crept onto her cheeks.

"I like that idea," Josh admitted, fiddling with his hands in his lap while forming his next sentence carefully, "But... What if we skipped the coffee and maybe instead you can tell me why you think it's okay to waste so much paper. These are trees you know," he said with a slight smirk as he lifted a handful of paper from the scrappy white pile sitting on one end of the desk.

That seemed to decide her and her eyes shifted up to meet his. She was obviously a troubled individual at the moment and Josh welcomed the distraction from his assignment sitting across the room with open arms. Noticing that she would likely take a few seconds to respond, he took the opportunity to observe her a little closer. Wide-set grey eyes were set into a pale heart-shaped face. Everything seemed to be subtle, as if she were made from soft hues of peach and cream. Everything, that is, excluding her fiery red hair which stood on it's own metaphorical platform as it clouded around her face in loose, shoulder-length curls, which were currently tossed haphazardly over to one side as she huffed in annoyance before responding to him.

"How about you take my original deal or fuck off," she said testily, toying with a smile on her lips.

He nearly laughed as he realized that her hair wasn't the only fiery thing about her. "How about you just tell me about you then?" he suggested hopefully.

"You're eager aren't you," she mused, amused by his persistence. But she had to admit, if she didn't have coffee flooding her system it would definitely be less so, despite the adorable grin he flashed at her. But yet, when she glanced at his eyes again, she felt safe. And when she took in the blue beanie sitting atop his head and the oversized NYU sweater, she couldn't help but smile. _He really was cute_ , she thought before trying to reorganize her thoughts enough to continue. "You go first," was her ever so sure response. Was it a defence mechanism? Maybe... _yes_. Did she have to use it? _Probably not._ But it's always best to stay safe, she reasoned.

"Deal," Josh laughed, feeling both the coffee and excitement running through his system as he thought of what to say next. "Well, it's Josh Matthews as you know-"

"Wait," she interjected, "are we including middle names in this?"

Josh rolled his eyes playfully before turning back to her, "Joshua Gabriel Matthews. Happy?" he asked, something in him sincerely hoping the answer would be yes.

"Very," she grinned.

"But you know that you have to do it now too, right?" He teased.

"I've got nothing to hide," she smiled, rather proud. "Alina Lynn Perry, it's really not that bad. Not many people have two 'Y's in their name. It's quite the accomplishment" she said jokingly.

"What about Shanaynay?"

"Fuck you," she said, putting her head back on the desk, while Josh continued talking.

"I moved to NYU from Philadelphia about three years ago. I have two older brothers, the oldest is a senator here in New York, and the other is a history teacher nearby. I also have one older sister and she is probably the coolest person you will ever meet. She's a graphic designer."

Alina watched him as he spoke very carefully, taking in whatever she could (both auditory and visual wise). What she heard impressed her, _I mean talk about a successful family_ , but what she saw struck an even stronger cord with her. She watched as his face lit up as soon as he brought up his family, and thought longingly of her own. It had been too long since she last saw them. Staying in your hometown for university was good for keeping in touch, but it required a certain amount of effort. Otherwise it would be no different from moving to Alaska. She had been slacking lately, but she could tell that he hadn't been. Not by a long-shot.

She heard about his niece and nephew, how he fell in love with writing in senior year of high school, and even saw pictures of his guitar, before she finally heard the words she was dreading… "Your turn."

Two weeks and five dates later, Josh could finally say that he knew the answer to his prompt. Her name was Alina, she was in her second year studying physics at NYU, she wrote poetry, played and composed on the piano, and he was absolutely head over heels for her. But there was more that he didn't learn all at once, but rather slowly. He learned over long days drinking coffee and futile attempts to compose their own music, short impromptu dates in Central Park, and even the well planned out ones (where they typically ignored their plans and just ended up talking about anything and everything). It was through those moments that Josh learned the important aspects of her: how she decided on NYU for physics when she had offers from MIT and Harvard, simply because her younger brother needed her nearby. How she worked for the first two years of college so that if her brother couldn't get scholarships someday (there was still a while until that happened) to fund his education, he could still go and try to make something of himself eventually. How she loved her parents so much for trying their best by her, even if their best wasn't very much. And finally how she was doing what she was doing to not only make everyone else proud of her, but also for herself. She needed to know that she was trying her best to change her life. And if there was one thing Josh knew, it was that she was.

A year later and she was just as familiar with him as he was with her, so when their leases finished as the school year came to a close, the answer seemed simple. That summer they searched for an apartment and moved in within the following two weeks. Life seemed to be coming together for them. And whenever Josh began to feel guilty about his deal with Maya, he would quickly reason with himself. He would remind himself that they each had their own lives to live and he was only following the rules. Someday would come if it was meant to be, the rest was up to fate. But in all honesty, he was happy with his life at the moment. In fact, he loved it. But, for whatever reason, some things are not as simple as we want them to be, and somedays are often even more complicated.


	8. Carousels & Concepts

**Hey lovelies,**

 **Sorry this is so ridiculously late. It's been crazy busy with school work, the holidays, and the _Day In Six Weeks_ sequel (which is out if anyone is interested!). I'd like to apologize, it was never my intention to leave you guys hanging, and I will try my very best to avoid such long absences in the future!**

 **I feel like I should probably clarify a few things about the last chapter, a lot of things happened after all :p Many of you were questioning why Maya is still playing the long game, and in all honesty, I agree with many of you in saying that at this point in time, the long game is likely over. I think this chapter will clarify that idea a bit more. In regards to Maya telling Josh to let her know if anything like this happens again, she essentially is stating that she does not want to be blindsided again. It is easy to say that she shouldn't even be affected if Josh ever falls in love again, but emotions are never black and white, and while she would likely be over him, a part of her would still sting to a degree. They've been through so much together by this point that it would be impossible not to, even if she is trying her best to let him go. There's also the concept that there isn't very much to let go of, they haven't really been in much contact these past few years, Maya was kind of just riding on residual feelings. And lastly (phew this is a long author's note, sorry!), Josh gave her up the minute he fell in love with Alina. He never sought her out, never initiated any contact, and even now, doesn't expect anything from her. I by no means am trying to rationalize Josh's terrible decisions, but I think it's important to clarify that he assumed her feeling may have lessened over time given that they didn't see one another all too often. In regards to Maya, she stays true to her strong character- she isn't going to let some guy fuck up her life. This is a slow burn story, remember guys! There is still so much more to come and events that may alter your perception of what's happening at the moment.**

 **I love you all, just try and stick with me for a bit!**

 _ **\- SleepingStarlight**_

* * *

"Peaches," Riley said quietly, lifting herself out of the blankets surrounding her and resting her chin on Maya's shoulder. "I'm sorry," she whispered, mindful of the emptiness in the room.

"Sorry about what, Riles?" Maya asked, attempting to feign some sort of normalcy as she gathered her hair in a ponytail by the base of her neck. Her hands were shaking slightly though, so the brunette sitting by her side reached up to tie it for her, knowing that Maya wasn't entirely functional that morning.

"It's okay, Maya," Riley sighed, familiar with her best friend's tactics to avoid situations that caused her pain. "He was going to follow you, but I cornered him," Riley winced slightly as she proceeded. "You'd be proud of me, I shoved his sorry ass to the ground."

There was a whirl of blonde as Maya whipped her head around to face Riley's conflicted expression. She began to grin slightly, but allowed it to taper away when she saw Riley's pained smile. That sweet bird had defended her, but in a way that she never felt comfortable doing. It made Maya's heart swell, knowing that Riley stepped outside of her comfort zone for indignance on her behalf, but Riley wasn't meant for that. She wasn't meant to hurt others, and Maya could tell it was tearing her up inside. So she turned to something so familiar that it almost put her at ease, "Honey, you didn't have to do that. I know he's a massive dick, but he's your uncle. I don't expect you to end things with him just because he and I aren't happy with each other."

"Maya, he hurt you so much. He should have known that it would push me away, you're my other half," Riley persisted with a more honest smile.

Maya looked back to her and attempted to smile again, but everything was still too fresh. So she dropped her gaze to one of the cushions stranded on her carpet, suddenly fascinated with the tassels on its edges. "I guess he told you then?" She questioned without changing her gaze.

"There may have been a conversation before the ass-kicking," Riley admitted reluctantly. "You should have seen Mom though, she had to literally pull me away. She was pretty pissed; she thought he had told you by now. She probably would have kicked him out if he hadn't left soon after."

Maya chuckled slightly. She had learned long ago that Topanga was a force to be reckoned with. "Did I ever tell you that I love your mom?" Maya asked jokingly.

"I kinda just figured," Riley grinned, wrapping an arm around Maya's shoulder and pulling her in close. They lapsed into silence. Maya would never admit to it, but at times like these she needed this. The warmth across her back and the reassurance that _someone_ would always be there for her. Maybe it was a result of her tumultuous childhood, but Maya liked to think that it was something that people needed innately. A presence, in whatever form, to love them unconditionally. She couldn't help but be glad that she had found hers so early.

But as was her nature, Maya could not help but acknowledge the elephant in the room. "Uh… Alina seems nice," she swallowed, the words being more painful than she expected.

"I wonder if she knows she can do far better than that scumbag," Riley teased, attempting to swing the conversation away from that which would cause the blonde leaning on her shoulder more pain. And when she heard a small, but genuine laugh escape Maya's lips, she smiled, grateful that she had at least never lost that ability.

"I think most people can at the moment, Riles," Maya quipped with more of her usual tone apparent. Riley could have sighed in relief, but she held back… there were still many more milestones to reach on this road. "I'm… I'm happy for him," Maya said tightly and entirely unconvincingly.

"But you're not too keen on him right now," Riley finished, taking in the return of Maya's tight smile as a response. "I say we should just swear off boys," Riley threw out- trying to inject more of her bubbly personality back into the conversation, it had sadly lacked in it so far.

"Tbh," Maya began, her pained smile reverting to a genuine one, "let's just get married and call it a day. At least we'd never hurt each other. Besides, it's legal anyways!" she added as an afterthought.

"We don't need to be married to have that Peaches, you've already got me. One hundred percent."

Maya let out a sappy "Awe," loving the return of cheesy Riley. It had been a while. "You know I think you just broke a new cheese record there, Riles."

"I try," Riley shrugged adorably. "I'm surprised you haven't given up already, Peaches. Like everything with Lucas has got me thinking, and you… I mean Cam and Josh, you've gotten some rotten luck. I may have just given up by now."

Maya grimaced slightly. Cam, or Cameron, was a sore spot. He had been her first high school boyfriend. Still high on her ski lodge promises, Maya had avoided relationships essentially the entire year following it. She knew it was pointless, but she still felt emotionally raw and couldn't imagine being with anyone else after having but a few moments with a certain beanie-wearing Matthews. Until, that is, she met Cameron in her second. Tall, lanky, perfect hair, Maya was not the only one to fall for him and the sweet smiles he sent her in their geography class… the one class she didn't have with Riley. She had never been extraordinarily shy, so the next day, she kicked out the kid sitting next to him and took up her new residence. It was uphill from there. Their relationship evolved from sharing textbooks (each secretly smiling when their elbows knocked together), to study sessions (where very little of that nature ever really occurred), to coffee (which became a newfound essential after their first set of strenuous exams), and finally to their first kiss outside the Museum of Natural History on a school trip after Cory had unendingly recounted the Napoleonic Wars (despite the class being on a _geography_ field trip).

The week after had been full of conflict in her mind. She hadn't expected things to work out that way. She was young and naive in more ways than one, expecting her first idea of romance to be her last and shocked on the realization that emotions were far more complex than she had anticipated. All throughout her life, she had lived in extremes. She loved Riley and her family. She loved her mother and her grandmother. She loved her friends… She hated her father. So was it possible for her emotions to not be stark and cold, differing opposites?

After dating for a year, she still hadn't made up her mind. He told her he loved her, but she hadn't been quite ready to say the same. He pulled a Lucas and gave her a promise ring- Maya could smell Riley's involvement in the entire thing, but was pleased nonetheless. That night she cried a little; there was an ache whose cause she couldn't quite dissect yet. She left it for another time.

By Christmas Break that same year, Cam's family decided to move to Australia after the death of his grandfather. They broke up painfully, but managed to not end up estranged. She thought it out- at that point a little more pain would likely not make a difference.

So in retrospect, she could acknowledge several different truths. When Cam had left, she spent the Christmas Break hurting, so this situation was not her first heartbreak. However, it was of a different calibre- she hadn't dated Josh, hadn't loved him (at least not to a degree which she could easily acknowledge), but everything he did seemed to affect her in a more minute way. She had seen him at the Matthews more than she expected that year with his roommate being an absolute ass and him essentially living in the apartment on weekends, but didn't say a word. It seemed like cruel irony that the year she could have spent with him was the year she was otherwise occupied, but it hadn't affected her extraordinarily at the time.

They would talk and laugh- it was impossible not to when being in each other's presence was so invigorating. They would chat on cold winter nights with mugs of hot chocolate, often playing some sort of board game with the Matthews. They would get into arguments… she assumed it was inevitable, they wouldn't always have compatible personalities. But never did they talk about love or relationships. She never understood how it was that they could talk for hours (if they let themselves) without discussing anything of real importance. She thought that perhaps it was their way of living in the moment- allowing the outside world to look into whatever kind of relationship they had would ruin it- at least, that was what she convinced herself. Her heart would race guiltily whenever they touched, usually by accident, but she couldn't honestly admit that some were not on purpose. It was amicable, she reasoned- she couldn't say it was anything more.

They were not stupid… they were both in stages of life where it was impossible to expect anything but relationships with other people, but their inability to communicate left a wedge that Maya could only acknowledge several years later. So Maya turned back to the concerned face searching hers and took a deep breath.

"Tell me about it," Maya groaned, stuffing her face back into her pillow.

* * *

"I don't know if this is going to cheer me up, Riles." Maya said skeptically, staring at the large carousel that stood on the grass in central park.

"My god Maya!" Riley said with an exasperated huff through a mouthful of frozen yogurt. "First we try fro-yo… nothing. Then we try painting… nothing. Then we try fro-yo again… well… _I try fro-yo again_ because you dragged me away before I could get any last time (not cool by the way), and now you don't even want to do this?!" She moodily licked her spoon, "It's like I don't even know you anymore."

Maya rolled her eyes and took in the scene around her. Little kids were clustered around a small petting zoo, parents were talking near the benches, and the horses which had been sparsely painted when they were children were now elaborate works of art. It seemed as though their childhood hotspot had become rather popular.

"You need to lighten up, Peaches." Riley continued, "It's not like your problems are going to just disappear, you're going to have to learn to live with them."

Maya reached to grab Riley's hand, swinging it around when she did. "What if I don't want to?" She asked, scrunching up her nose playfully. It was easy reverting to herself in moments like these.

"If you don't, it's only going to hurt you in the long run," Riley said solemnly, but rather unconvincingly as she had a dollop of pink frozen yogurt on the tip of her nose. Maya chuckled, reaching over and wiping it off with the corner of her sleeve.

"You're a little more convincing without frozen yogurt on your face, Honey," she smiled.

"What can I say, it's part of my charm," Riley shrugged with a grin before tossing her cup in the nearby trashcan and dragging Maya towards the carousel. "It will make things better," she shrieked, struggling as Maya turned into dead weight, "I promise!"

"You can't fix everything, Riles," Maya sighed before giving in and allowing Riley to drag her towards the ride.

"But I can sure as hell try," Riley returned, finally reaching the first solitary horse and pushing her friend onto it. "Besides," she paused, gently patting the horse's nose, "maybe he can," before scampering off to find one of her own.

Maya looked down at the rainbow coloured monstrosity of a horse she sat on; they had abandoned tasteful colours after they redid the park in 09. Nevertheless, when the music started up again, she felt a sudden familiarity and smiled, recalling all the times her and Riles had ventured over there as children. They had even snuck out on the night of Maya's sweet sixteen, begging the park manager to let the ride go for another fifteen minutes past closing time. She could remember the sweetness of that age, she had just been with Cameron a few months at that point and had been flying on some sort of high. Now, she was flying on a different sentiment all together and severely lacking another. Joy- she knew it realistically should not depend on anyone. There was a healthiness to being happy with who you were alone, and that was something Maya had never let herself achieve before tumbling into her first relationship. There was so much more she had to learn about herself before she shared herself with others. But unfortunately, that realization didn't stop the sharp dread she felt when felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. _He wouldn't_ , she thought with pained exasperation. He knew she needed space. But she sighed in relief when she saw the contact.

 **From Riles Smiles (2much):  
** **To Maya:  
** _You don't look like you're having fun :(_

Maya turned around, searching for Riley as the ride continued to spin, eventually finding her sitting on a palomino amongst throngs of children. She had her brows furrowed in worry and her phone in her lap. Maya turned back to her own, typing carefully.

 **From Maya:  
** **To Riles Smiles (2much):  
** _I'm thinking things over, don't worry honey. I'm having oodles of fun._

She shoved her phone back into her pocket, deftly maneuvering on her horse and placing her head on it's ceramic mane when she was done. The ride seemed to be slowing down, but her thoughts were anything but.

The Long Game was over. She knew that and understood what it entailed. She felt raw, that was inevitable. She felt alone, but she knew that wasn't true. She felt tired, relationships were a lot of work. And… this scared her the most... she felt as though she didn't know herself… and that needed to be changed.

Her horse came to a stop, but Maya couldn't find it in herself to move. It was all a bit much for a Saturday morning. Riley walked over, hesitantly pausing by her side. "I know _I want_ you to feel better right now, but I get that you need time. This doesn't have to be rushed, Peaches. Let everything run its course, I'll be right here for all of it."

Maya felt a few tears well in her eyes and gently slid off her horse, wrapping her arms around the brunette. "You know I love you, right?"

Riley smoothed her cheek on the blonde curls that she knew so well and squeezed her close. "Yeah, I do."

"I… I don't like that he can hurt me like this," Maya admitted softly. "I don't even know why I'm so attached, I mean it's not… it's not like _anything ever even happened_."

"Maya," Riley soothed, sitting her onto a nearby bench, "that's normal. You spent so much time with this idea in your head, I'd be worried if you weren't upset right now. You two… you were always difficult," Riley admitted, remembering what she had observed over the years. "You guys set yourselves up that day in the ski lodge… most promises like that end in a lot of pain and I wish I could make it go away, but I can't."

Maya let out a bitter laugh, that moment had always been among her highlights, she never knew the kind of turmoil it would cause her in the long run.

"He was… selfish in a way," Riley reflected. "I don't think he quite realized what your deal meant until things started changing for him."

"I don't like that he has that control over me," Maya whispered, slightly overcome as she began to fully comprehend the effect he had on her at times.

"I really hope you mean _had_ , Peaches," Riley said cautiously.

"I'm done with this shit," Maya said bitterly, regretting how much time she had already spent on this that morning. "I don't need this right now. It's the beginning of university, he needs to stop messing with my fucking life. I don't need any more distractions."

"Yeah!" Riley encouraged from the sidelines.

"He is NOT going to mess with me anymore. I'm older, I'm more mature, he doesn't affect me that much!"

"YEAH!" Riley cheered, growing more excited by the minute. She knew this carousel park was magic.

"I'm going to be indifferent to Josh Matthews," Maya stood up with a confidence that may not have been entirely true. "At least, I'll try my very fucking best to."

"YAAAAY" Riley nearly screamed, attracting the attention of several concerned mothers in the process.

"But," Maya sank back onto the bench with a sigh, "I don't think I'm there yet Riles."

Riley curbed her excitement for the moment, she needed to match Maya's ebb and flow of emotions for however long this process lasted- her cheerleader in the high points, her source of comfort in the lows. "Maya, it's okay. This kind of stuff doesn't go away in a day. You spent years expecting something from him. You're allowed to be upset."

"Don't worry," Maya agreed glumly, "I'm pretty upset. But… I don't like being upset. I don't like being angry. I have too many daddy-issues to let another source of permanent pain into my life. I need to get over this-"

"Even if it's not right now," Riley finished.

"I guess the whole deal was a bit unrealistic, wasn't it?" Maya asked, beginning what would be a long and arduous process of healing. She had really clung to the idea of the Long Game after her first break up. The idea that someone was out there, that there was still another perfectly good relationship within reaching distance had been a source of comfort unlike any other. But now, she couldn't help but think of it negatively… it had been filled with lies anyways.

"It may have been," Riley accommodated, "but you two were just kids. I wouldn't have expected you guys to plan for _this_."

"Fair." Maya conceded, resting her head in her palm and staring at the flecks of pebbles in the concrete ground..

"You can do this Peaches." Riley said softly from her other side. It was entirely possible, Maya reflected. The Long Game was over, now it was time for her to get over it. So she looked hesitantly into the brown eyes staring gently at hers and managed to find a small smile. There was something in the nature of the sweet face staring back at her that would always make things easier. She had felt like a carousel for so many years now, swinging from one end to the other and hanging on without any sense of precariousness. It was time for things to slow down a bit.


	9. Edits & Orbits

**Hey fam, long time no see!**

 **It's been a wild ride since we last saw each other, it always surprises me how much can change in a few weeks. This is a bit of a long author's note, but there are a few things you may want to know, so stay tuned if you're interested :)**

 **Girl Meets World is cancelled, and my heart broke when I found out. This has been an incredible show, as I'm sure you all know. The topics it has covered have brought me to tears more times than I can count (my personal tear-jerker being** _ **Girl Meets the Great Lady of New York**_ **) and I'm devastated that such a relevant show has been cancelled in its prime.**

 **That being said, don't stop writing your piece about this show. We need writers and creators now more than ever! It's easy to become discouraged, but do not give up. Fill your lives with art, literature, and knowledge- through these I can tell you personally that you will find beauty and serenity despite how chaotic the world may seem at the moment. Remember,** _ **we are still meeting it**_ **.**

 **Thank you so much for your lovely reviews! I always wish I can reply to the guest reviewers as well, but unfortunately FanFiction doesn't allow me to. You guys have brought this story up past 170 reviews and I cannot thank you enough for all your wonderful support. It truly is mind-boggling. This group is like a family. I love you all.**

 **IMPORTANT: For those of you wishing to know how my story updates work, I update my Profile Progress section every few days so you can always see when the new chapter will be coming out!**

 **And lastly, (because my goodness this has been long), as always please feel free to PM me, I love being able to talk with you guys- this is meant to be a conversation after all! I love hearing from all of you so don't be shy :)**

 **Okay… we done here! Happy Reading!**

 **-** _ **SleepingStarlight**_

* * *

"You should really consider eating breakfast on time," Riley chirped from her seat on the counter. She had an hour break before her next class and came to pick up her biology textbook. She hadn't originally been too enthusiastic about the subject, but decided to keep her options open for when she declared her degree.

Maya had already sat through two classes that morning, and if you asked her, they were far too early for comfort. "They put my psych class at basically one in the morning Riles, what'dya expect?"

"Your class starts at 8:30, Maya." Riley rolled her eyes. "Maybe calm down a bit with the dramatics. If you set your alarm at 7:30 like a normal person, you would actually have enough time to eat breakfast rather than waiting till your classes were finished."

"Butcome'onnRiles," Maya spoke through a mouthful of oatmeal (Topanga had rubbed off on her), "It's 11:30! Perfect time for breakfast. This- THIS was when man was intended to eat!"

Riley giggled slightly before hopping off the counter, grabbing a granola bar, and heading over to grab her floral backpack. "It's up to you Peaches, but I think it might help. Oh, and don't stuff yourself, Farkle's coming down to meet us for lunch."

Maya groaned, slamming her oatmeal back on the counter, "Kid has the worst timing! I have a history essay due tomorrow, can we reschedule?"

"No, can't do. You know the biotech program he's in, he's got like no free time. We gotta take what we can get. Besides you showed me half of your essay yesterday and you've got a few hours to wrap it up."

"But Riles…" Maya began dolefully.

"Hush," Riley reached forwards, cupping her palm over Maya's mouth. "Just make it happen," and she walked out the door, a flurry of navy and floral.

Maya placed her head on the counter and closed her eyes. Early classes weren't just detrimental to breakfast schedules, she was exhausted. So after taking a few moments, she dragged herself off the stool and grabbed the packet of instant coffee. It wasn't as good as the pressed stuff, but it was dorm life, so she had to make do.

* * *

"Fuck!" Maya cursed for what was likely the twentieth time within the hour. She had to leave in ten minutes to meet Riley and Farkle at the small diner near Topanga's and still had two major points to prove and a conclusion. Damn Cory for making her take the class. She wasn't even in an honours arts program, it was entirely unnecessary. But her mental rant was interrupted when her phone began to buzz violently on her nightstand. She sighed and reached over to grab it, ridiculously surprised when she read the contact.

 _Call from:_ _ **Hucklebitch  
**_  
"What the hell?" she murmured, utterly confused. It had been almost a month since they'd heard from him, aside from the occasional social media post. So she slid her thumb across the screen and lifted the phone to her ear. "Hello?" she asked, too off-guard to quip at him sarcastically. _ **  
**_

"Hey Maya," she heard his voice from the other side, slightly hesitant.

"Whad'ya want Lucas?" she asked testily, he didn't really deserve her nicknames at the moment.

"Nothing really, kinda just wanted to catch up."

"Um, it's been, what? A month? What's got you so concerned about our well-being now?"

"I don't know," he hesitated briefly, "I guess I missed you guys."

"You guess?" Maya echoed hollowly, Riley had been missing him like crazy those past few weeks. Sometimes she would wake up in the night and see the brunette pouring over their photo album from high school- and he had the nerve to avoid her for a month.

"Come'on Maya," he begged, "can't we at least be cordial? You know Riles and I tried to figure things out, but it just wouldn't work. We had different paths we needed to take."

"It's _Riley_ to you," Maya growled. "And you know what's not cordial, Huckleberry? Avoiding your friends for an entire month! You don't get to just waltz back into our lives as though that never happened."

"Trust me Maya, I'm not trying to waltz… I'm in Texas, if anything I would square dance," he joked, attempting to lighten the mood.

Maya tightened her lips together, "That's _not_ funny," she tried, restraining the laugh threatening to spill from her rib cage.

"Well, at least I tried," he paused, "How are you guys?"

"We're all alive," Maya said wryly, her bitter mood returning. He really did not deserve any of this information.

"I suppose that's good."

"I'm struggling through a history report (which you're distracting me from by the way), Farkle's struggling through biotech engineering, Smackle's _embracing_ the struggle in theoretical physics, and Zay's partying in California."

"Yeah, he seems to be having quite the time," Lucas chuckled.

"Oh, so you keep in touch with _him_ , do you?" Maya questioned, remembering why she was pissed off in the first place.

"Well... you- you know, it's Zay," Lucas tripped up a bit, she could almost _hear_ his blush from the other end of the phone. "Um, you mentioned everyone but Riles- uh I mean Riley. What has she been up to?"

"Well why do you care?" Maya asked him testily.

"Really Maya?" Lucas asked, some exasperation leaking into his tone. "We didn't break up because we wanted to! Can you please stop attacking me? I just want to know how our friends are doing, I know it's been a month, but it's not like I forgot about our six years together. I _just_ want to know how she's doing."

"If you want to know, you'll have to ask her yourself. You chose to leave, Huckleberry, and now you've got to live with that. Don't expect _me_ to make that decision any easier, I thought it was a bad idea from the start."

"Maya you know I couldn't turn away that scholarship, they offered me a full-ride! Did you honestly expect me to throw that away?"

"No," she replied carefully, "but I also didn't expect you to throw _her_ away."

"Maya," he began urgently, "that wasn't how it worked-"

"Well, that's how it happened." Maya said with finality. "Besides, you could have gotten a few scholarships locally and your family definitely could have paid the rest. So don't try and pull any bullshit with _me_ , Friar."

"Never have, Hart," he muttered.

"I could probably argue against that."

"You know what," he sighed, "just take care of Riley for me-"

"YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST-" Maya began angrily, not caring whatsoever for the residents across the hall. But before she could finish, the line went dead.

"Fucking Huckleberry," she cursed, thoroughly fed up as she turned off her phone and turned to check the time. "You have got to be kidding me." She was late. It looked as though her paper would have to go with her, and for not the first time that morning, she found herself cursing a certain cowboy a few states away. He never really made things easier, did he?

* * *

"What makes you think that Hitler was responsible for the French Revolution?" Farkle asked incredulously, reading over Maya's paragraph outline derived within the past half hour. "That doesn't make any sense!"

"Well, he needed the Guillotine to make sure nobody ever bothered him. How else was he supposed to keep Brazil?" Maya stated with an over-confident air.

"Maya," Riley turned in her seat to take a look at the essay, glancing over it with wide eyes. "This is so wrong! They're two completely different time periods and countries. The rest of your essay is fine, I don't know what's got you so shook."

"It's nothing Riles," Maya said quickly while reaching for her laptop, she wasn't quite ready to disclose her previous conversation with Lucas as the reason for her distraction. "Blame it on your mean ol' dad. This history course has nothing to do with my life!"

Farkle rolled his eyes, pausing carefully as he noticed Maya's fingers tapping nervously on the table. "You're tapping. That's a nervous tendency. Why are you tapping?"

"Jeez Farkle," Maya flushed, drawing her hand beneath the table hastily, "I'm just tapping it's no big deal."

"Tendencies like that are derived from nerves or guilt. What's up with you?" Farkle pressed.

"Farkle!" Riley chastised, gesturing with rapid head movements towards the blonde sitting by her side in an attempt to say _let it go_.

"It's a catch-up session guys, it's a bit hard to catch up if you guys are hiding things from me," Farkle insisted.

Maya could feel her heart race guiltily. Lucas had been their friends too, it was her obligation to explain what happened. It didn't mean she wanted to… but she probably should. "Well I -"

"MAYA AND UNCLE JOSH BROKE UP!" Riley burst out suddenly.

"WHAT?!" Farkle asked, confused with the frenzy. "I didn't even know you guys were dating! A lot changes in three weeks."

Maya rolled her eyes, "We weren't dating."

"Then how did you-"

"We didn't," Maya interrupted moodily. "He's just dating someone else… apparently has been for a year and a half."

"A yeah and a half?!" Farkle echoed, suddenly understanding why it was relevant.

"Apparently he's in love," Riley added, watching Maya's face for the signature wince that appeared every time they broached the topic and slightly surprised with its absence.

"Wow," Farkle managed, trying to discern the emotions on Maya's face, though it seemed to be rather blank.

"She's been handling it real well," Maya said, gesturing with a smile to the brunette sitting by her side. "Apparently she shoved him when he told her, she's a lot less violent now."

"It's true," Riley nodded solemnly. "My progress has been extraordinary."

Farkle looked between them confusedly. Maya had already closed herself on the subject, if her mannerisms and posture were any indication, but that wouldn't do. He had entirely expected Riley to be upset, but that was relatively unimportant in comparison with the torrent of emotions he knew the blonde would have experienced at the revelation.

"What about Maya?" he directed the question towards Riley, knowing that he would be getting very little to no information from her counterpart.

"She's doing beautifully," Riley smiled, patting the blonde's shoulder. "I'm very impressed."

Maya looked up at him and laughed slightly at his surprised expression, "It was a rough few days, but I'm good."

"I wonder why he did it," Farkle mused, stirring his coffee absent-mindedly. "It's so unlike him."

"Well…" Maya paused, it had taken her a long time to come to terms with what she was about to say, "we didn't really know him _that_ well to be honest."

"Come'on Maya," Farkle protested, knowing how painful that idea was for her. Being in love with a mirage was terrifying, he couldn't even imagine. "You knew him."

"Obviously not," Maya muttered. "Ugh, you know, I'm done with this. I don't need to analyze what went down, Farkle. It was already clear enough and I don't need you to dissect it for me, because I _know_ that's what you were going to do." It came out a bit more bitterly than she had wished, but nevertheless had its intended effect. She liked to think that she had figured it all out by that point, but she couldn't help but fear that small part of herself that remained untapped. She couldn't take another Pandora's box at that moment so she tucked it away- there was plenty of time to deal with it after all.

"Why don't we talk about something else?" Riley suggested looking between the two with concern.

Farkle cleared his throat in an attempt to diffuse the tension and turned back to the coffee he had been nursing for well over an hour. "Uh, I got a call from Lucas this afternoon." So much for diffusing tension.

Maya's head snapped back up from her paper to look at the brunette sitting by her side, and she was pleasantly surprised to not see a hurt expression. They had both healed so well those past few weeks. There was nothing that they couldn't do if they were together- an idea Maya had realized more and more as the years passed on.

"How is he?" Riley asked quietly, her demeanour still slightly subdued.

"He doesn't seem to be very happy," Farkle admitted slowly. The call hadn't been extraordinarily difficult on his end, but he could almost feel the pain in Lucas's voice when he asked how _she_ had been doing. But of course, he wouldn't mention that to the brunette sitting across from him.

"Well, it's his fault," Maya bit back. "He's not our problem anymore, so he can figure out his own shit."

"Maya," Riley protested, she had never intended for her breakup to result in the entire friend group's estrangement with the Texan.

"No Riles, we're done with this topic too. Excuse me!" Maya called a waiter nearby, plastering an excited smile on her face with a reasoning Riley could not discern. "Can we please have a slice of birthday cake for this girl right here? It's her eighteenth!"

"Oh that's so nice!' the waiter gushed, smiling at the pair. "It's on the house for birthdays by the way, would you like chocolate or vanilla?"

"Chocolate please," Maya answered in lieu of the confused brunette by her side. "Thank you!"

As the waiter walked away, Riley turned to face her, a bewildered expression on her face. "I know you're bad with dates Maya, but it's not my birthday."

"Trust me Honey, it's the one day of the year I do remember. You just seemed like you needed some cheering up."

"But we lied," Riley whispered, scandalized.

"I lied," Maya corrected quietly, "so you're in the clear. Enjoy your cake!"

"Awww, Peaches!" Riley cooed happily, knowing that she would still slip the waiter a five before they left.

"What else am I good for," Maya joked before turning and realizing Farkle had taken her laptop throughout the exchange. "What are you doing Farkle?" she asked with a resigned air.

"Proofreading," he responded absently while scrolling. "I get the feeling you don't like having your work proofread."

"It's already perfect, why would it need to be checked?!"

"Well," Farkle mused, grinning as he turned back up to look at her. "Last I recalled, there was no 'y' in 'summarization'."

"You suck," Maya kicked his foot under the table.

"I'm bringing this paper up to a B+, maybe even an A with these edits Maya, I think you can deal with a little humiliation. Besides, it's not my fault you never listened in English class after Harper left."

"She had mat-leave, Farkle," Riley said through a mouthful of the cake that had just been brought to her. "She hardly left!"

"Well, either way," Maya leaned back with her phone, "I'm taking a Maya moment. All this work is draining me."

"Sweetie, you only did actual work for like a half hour," Riley reprimanded by her side.

"And it was a half hour too long," Maya muttered, reaching for an elastic band and haphazardly pulling her hair into a knot near the base of her neck.

She unlocked her phone and began to scroll through her Instagram feed absently. She had never been entirely sure why she got the app, the idea of sharing her life with the world had never been particularly appealing. However, ironically enough, when Josh had suggested she use it to post her artwork she had jumped on the idea. In her later years of high school it had progressed beyond school projects, and included hand-painted originals and photography that she had picked up from Shawn.

She had just been looking through Yoby's joint account when a notification appeared at the top of the screen.

 _Your Facebook friend Josh Matthews has posted a new photo. Would you like to follow him?_

"What the fuck?" Maya muttered under her breath. Facebook hadn't caught the hint yet, had it? But because she had so little self restraint, she clicked on his name to view his profile and nearly laughed when it appeared on her screen. In the small circular cutout was a literal _profile_ shot of the Matthews boy himself in a beanie, cast in some sort of grayscale. She would have teased him ruthlessly about his bio if she had the nerves to actually text him.

 **Joshua Matthews**

 _Not your local history teacher._

The rest of his feed was subpar, the majority being comprised of photos with his friends and the occasional photo with Alina. She looked at the two of them, both clearly avoiding the camera, and couldn't help but feel that if it were anybody but him, she would find the photo absolutely adorable. But as of the moment, she had to close her eyes for a moment before scrolling onwards.

As time passed, she scrolled, taking in each of his photographs with care. It hurt less the further she went, similar to how blows dulled over time, each less impactful than the last. She had to get used to the idea of the pair, even if she knew it would never be entirely possible. The nature of the photos lightened the further she went, even coming across a Christmas photo from the previous year at the Matthews in Philly. She could just make out her own figure behind an exhausted Riley who had been sprawled over her lap- there had been far too many shortbread cookies that year when she thought about it in retrospect.

Maya looked back to the follow button, attempting to appear nonchalant though her heart was racing. _Moving on means accepting_ , she thought, trying to make sense of her mad desire to click. It wasn't logical by any means, why would she willingly cause herself more pain- unnecessary pain even. Yet her thumb moved to tap it, seemingly of its own accord, and she nearly sighed when it was done and she shut off her phone. It felt like progress. And she had had a ton of that those past few weeks.

"What happened to happy Maya?" Riley asked dejectedly, noticing the troubled look on the blonde's face. Maya moments did not typically end on a rough note.

"Nothing," Maya said quietly before plastering a smile on her face. She could tell Riley wasn't buying it, but she wasn't quite ready to confide, she was still processing after all. "Are you done yet, Farkle?"

"Just about," he muttered, his eyes ruthlessly scanning the computer screen for any last errors. "Just finish your tea, I'll be done by then."

"It's coffee."

"The reasoning behind your choices evades me, do you know how late it is?"

"Yes," Maya said testily.

"Just finish your coffee," he conceded, rolling his eyes as Maya grabbed her mug and chugged back the remainder in a matter of seconds before slamming it back down onto the table.

"They're not shots Maya!" Riley scolded, scandalized with the blonde's antics. It was as though she went from zero to ten in the span of a few minutes.

"Ya done now, Farkle?" Maya asked impatiently.

"What is with you and having people edit your stuff?" Riley asked incredulously. The entire thing seemed a bit ridiculous as she was still trying to dissect what happened earlier.

"I don't need your guys' help," Maya groaned, placing her head in her hands. "I'm perfectly capable of doing this on my _own_."

"Well," Farkle sighed, turning the laptop back to face her, "good thing my edits were placed directly in. Your paper is ready to print and I think it may even be an _A_. So… you're welcome."

Maya grabbed her laptop and shoved it in her bag, grumbling along the way. "You two are impossible, ya know that?"

"Guilty as charged," Riley smiled sweetly.

"Well, anywho," Maya slung her bag over her shoulder, "I gotta go print this sucker in the library so I should probably head out, it's getting kinda late anyways… I've got an early class."

Riley cocked her head, "Maya, tomorrow's a Friday. You don't have classes until eleven."

"I said early, didn't I?" Maya deadpanned. "Farkle, next time drag Smackle here with you, this whole _not-seeing-her-for-a-month-thing_ isn't working for me. Make it happen."

"Yes ma'am," Farkle saluted before straightening up and folding the blonde into a hug. "You've got this, Maya. We're all here for you." It had been hard for him those past few weeks. Having spent the entirety of his life preparing for university and the academic opportunities it offered him, he had glossed over the social aspects and struggled as a result. University was challenging- less because of the content and more regarding how difficult it was to find people who he connected with. Ideally, he would have had shared interests with those in his program- but his classmates were socially awkward (to say the least) and he had never excelled in those areas himself. Not to mention it had been over a week since he last saw Smackle- the other genius was crammed with a new and incredibly difficult workload. So this lunch-turned-dinner date was the highlight of his week and he was not ridiculously excited to return to his dorm that night.

Maya rested her head on his shoulder and held him close. She wasn't usually one for physical affection, but as she held him, she could feel how fragile he felt and remembered, not for the first time, that she hadn't been the only one with a tough past few weeks. So she allowed herself a moment of weakness and clutched the thin, angular boy in her arms and whispered, "I know. Love you Farkley."

"Love you too," he said softly before beginning to draw away. "Good luck with your paper and… the other stuff I guess."

"Thanks," Maya grinned. "I guess I'll see you in a bit, Riles." She turned back to Farkle as she reached the door of the cafe, "Until next time, kid," before whipping around the corner into the cool night air.

* * *

Maya bopped her head lightly as the music swelled in her ears. She knew very well that it was a bad decision to wear headphones while walking back that late at night, but the silence had been so deafening that she had rushed to plug in her earphones and crank up the volume. There was too much on her mind for anything else.

The library had been absolutely packed- a fact that she had yet to get used to. It wasn't as though the concept of late nights was unknown to her, (she had pulled a few herself and she lived in New York City for god's sake), but the idea of spending one in a library was utterly unappealing. It was strange what university did to people.

She maneuvered deftly through the small garden in the middle of her campus and smiled when the trees became suddenly illuminated as the moon peaked out from behind the clouds. If Riley had been there with her, they would have already concocted a plot for the shiny beacon's story. A tale of two sisters, one fiery and the other pale in her visage. Both dominating the sky yet both in isolation. There was a world of potential and so much of it was visible when her counterpart was present. Maya had spent all of her life meeting the world with its fiery, orbiting sisters… and now she walked on it alone under the cool light of one.

But she wasn't walking honestly. She had spent the entire afternoon and evening next to her best friend, yet hadn't been able to find it in herself to mention the conversation she had earlier with Lucas. She should have, that much was clear, but she hadn't, and that's what caused her heart to race- blood flowing rapidly inside her veins as guilt surged through her.

The fiery sisters were in opposite orbits, each missing the other and unable to find but a few moments together.

Maya had all the time in the world. So that being true, why couldn't she bring herself to mention that conversation?

How would their orbits change if she didn't?


	10. Preliminary Attempts

**Hey guys!**

 **How are you lovely people? I've missed you :)) This was a bit of an impromptu post, I wasn't initially planning to do this, lol! I realized that I'm not going to be around for another week because I've got exams in 2 days (EEEP) and I felt bad leaving you guys for so long so I split a gigantic chapter into parts so at least I have something to share today.**

 **This chapter, again, may not be overly pleasing, but I need to remind you guys that this is a SLOW-BURN story so things will be speeding up, but not at this exact moment. The Long Game is long for a reason and I'm hoping to convey that in all of my stories.**

 **Don't worry about Maya/Riley guys, I would never shake them up. I love them too much to mess with their dynamic, they will always have each other's back!**

 **And lastly, I would like to thank all of you guys. I can't believe we're ten chapters in, but look at us! The love and support you guys have given both myself and this story warms my heart and I cannot thank you enough. To every single reviewer, you guys are incredible! 186 reviews for 9 chapters is no small feat and I take all of your feedback and support into consideration when I write. So many of you have been with me from the start and whenever I see your name pop up it puts a gigantic smile on my face.**

 **I can't wait to keep going on this journey with all of you.**

 **-** **SleepingStarlight**

 **NOTE: The lyrics at the beginning are from the amazing Lady Gaga, specifically from her song Alejandro. I, by no means, own any aspects of it!**

* * *

 **** _You know that I love you boy  
_ _Hot like Mexico, rejoice  
_ _At this point I gotta choose  
_ _Nothing to lose  
_ _Don't call my name  
_ _Don't call my name, Alejandro  
_ _I'm not your babe  
_ _I'm not your babe, Fernando_

Josh sang enthusiastically into the whisk he held, spinning in an awkward circle while attempting to mix his pancake batter. Saturday mornings were his personal favourite and there was no better way to celebrate than making a breakfast that was not a rushed bowl of cereal with too much milk.

While he typically attempted to avoid early 2000's music at all costs, the Spotify random shuffle seemed to not be too distasteful this time around so he succumbed to his inner instincts and caved to the Gaga. There wasn't much reason not to in all fairness.

"It's been so long since you last did this that I almost forgot."

Josh turned around with a guilty grin, taking in the disheveled redhead standing across the room who couldn't help but smile at the scene playing out in front of her. After spending her first night at his apartment the year before, he had woken her up in the exact same way, but at the time with Britney Spears. She had thought it dorky at the time, and it still was to a degree, but adorably so. Besides, this was a bit less scarring than seeing his routine to _Womanizer_.

"What can I say?" Josh teased, walking over and pecking her nose lightly, "It resurfaces on occasion."

"Can it resurface after ten a.m.?" Alina asked hopefully, pattering over to sit on the small island and dangling her feet over the edge. They had managed to find a relatively nice apartment that year without a gigantic price tag and that itself was a small miracle.

Josh laughed lightly, pouring his first pancake onto the griddle and turning to fit himself between her legs. He bumped her nose lightly with his, "Don't the pancakes help?"

Alina caved, his grin was contagious. "They always help," she admitted with a smile, before pulling him in for a brief kiss. Saturdays as a whole weren't as de-stressing for her as they were for Josh, (she usually had to work), but the mornings themselves were heavenly. She grinned into his kiss, tasting chocolate and knowing he had dipped into the chips before even making the pancakes.

Josh had just begun to wrap his arms around her waist when a burnt smell wafted through the air. He detached himself quickly, leaving Alina with her eyes rolling, cursing as he pulled the griddle off the stove, attempting to scrape off his disastrous first pancake. "This is your fault," he called over his shoulder.

Alina hopped off the counter with a light laugh, wrapping her arms around him from behind and resting her chin on his shoulder. "How so?"

Josh put the pan down and sighed, turning around and leaning against the countertop, placing his hands on her hips and drawing her closer. "You're too distracting," he murmured, leaning in and nipping gently on her earlobe. He felt a laugh bubble up past her lips and drew away.

"You know," Alina teased, smiling up at him. "It would be a lot easier to take you seriously if you weren't wearing _Hello Kitty_ boxers."

"It would be a lot easier to focus on my pancakes if you weren't wearing my t-shirt," Josh replied, clearly distracted and running his hands along her sides.

"You're really going at it this morning, aren't you?"

"Mmhhmm." Josh had occupied himself rather quickly, skimming his nose along her neckline.

"Well," Alina drew away from him somewhat reluctantly- he was being adorably affectionate that morning and it was rather hard to resist- but she walked briskly over to the abandoned batter. "We're not doing _anything_ until I have some pancakes."

"I suppose that's fair," Josh smiled ruefully, taking the bowl from her hands and nudging her back to her spot on the counter next to him.

"Although, I've got to ask. What's with the _Hello Kitty_ merch?"

"It was part of a Christmas gift from Riles last year. I've managed to avoid them until now, but I've really got to do laundry so I'm desperate." He wasn't quite ready to re-enter the Matthews apartment under the casual pretence of laundry when they were surely still frustrated with him. The Laundromat around the corner would have to do, despite how reluctantly he would trek there.

"I can't believe that she goes to the same campus as us and I've literally only seen her once- and for like a minute at that! How have her first few weeks been going?"

"I think they've been going pretty well," Josh answered vaguely. He hadn't spoken to his niece since the blow-up and though a large part of him felt incredibly guilty for abandoning his niece during one of the greatest transition periods of her life, he knew that she wouldn't have wanted him there for that anyways, especially not in their current circumstances.

"You don't know, do you?" Alina guessed, as perceptive as ever.

He hesitated clearly, focusing his attention on the griddle. "Um… we haven't talked a ton. She's been busy too."

"Bullshit, Josh," Alina called out, knowing that he was hiding something but deciding not to ask him for details in that moment. He clearly needed time to process. "You should be there for her right now. And her friend Maya; they need you right now. This stuff is hard, I barely made any friends in first year. The first few months were hell."

Josh sighed reluctantly. He knew she was right, but unfortunately things weren't as simple as that.

"Why don't we go for coffee with them?" Alina suggested carefully.

Josh started, nearly pouring way too many chocolate chips onto the griddle. Could it be that simple? Could they actually manage to go out for coffee without being ridiculously hostile? Surely things must have cooled off by then.

"Besides," Alina continued, oblivious to his near mishap. "I barely know them, it would be nice to actually get to know them. They're three years younger, right? We could totally help them out and show them the nicer parts of campus."

Why was the three year age gap so irrelevant to everyone else, Josh wondered, finding himself silently agreeing with Alina's train of thought. He should have been there for them, not complicating their first week beyond repair by delving into emotions.

"You're right," he sighed, flipping the last pancake off the griddle and turning back to face her, this time with a large stack of pancakes on a plate in his. He saw her face light up.

"Can I just say this is an incredible moment?" she grinned, taking in the scene in front of her and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Not only did you just say that I'm right, but you're holding a plate of pancakes and I can't be freaked out by your boxers from up here."

Josh chuckled, it was always the small things with her. He set the pancakes on the counter next to her, leaning back in to capture another kiss, hoping for different results this time around. However, he was sorely disappointed when the redhead gave him a chaste peck and ducked under his arms, grabbing the pancakes and heading towards the table.

She turned back to face him halfway there, laughing sympathetically at the simultaneously pained and bemused look on his face. "I told you I'm going to eat first, now stop pouting and come join me. We can do other stuff after," she insinuated, wiggling her eyebrows adorably.

Josh shook his head with a begrudging smile, knowing how things would proceed as soon as she was finished. She would _definitely_ be late for work that morning. 

* * *

Riley had just finished reading the economics portion of her textbook when her phone buzzed violently on the coffee table. It had been a relatively peaceful morning, filled with reading and cups of earl grey, but, when her eyes flitted to check the contact, she could have groaned. It was a good thing that she had already finished most of her homework for that weekend- it was unlikely that she would get any more done that day.

 **From Uncle Josh:  
** **To Riley:  
** _Hey, I know a lot of stuff has been going on lately, but I was wondering if you wanted to go for coffee with Alina and I_

Riley sighed, taking in the message with apprehensiveness. She was still low-key furious with her uncle, but knew that it couldn't last. If Maya had managed to almost entirely forgive him, she would have to learn how. Besides, he was family- it was a bit harder to cut people out of your life if you had to still see them at every gathering. Not to mention, she was incredibly curious as to what was so special about the redhead. It didn't seem like Josh to give up on _Someday_ so easily, (that had been a tick of hers ever since she found out), so he must have found something special and she knew she should hear him out if that was the case. So she began to reply reluctantly.

 **From Riley:  
** **To Uncle Josh:  
** _I'm willing to try this. I guess I can't really stay mad at you forever, can I?_

 **From Uncle Josh:  
** **To Riley:  
** _Hey that parts up to you, but it would be nice to try this. Even if only so that everyone else doesn't try to fix this for us :p_

Riley rolled her eyes, in any normal circumstance her family would be intervening, but she knew they were just as offended by recent events.

 **From Riley:  
** **To Uncle Josh:  
** _Trust me, they hate your guts too. Dad says to do laundry in a river with a stone from now on. Where do you want to meet?_

 **From Uncle Josh:  
** **To Riley:  
** _There's a place near the library called Outlet & Co, it's a really nice coffee spot if you're interested. We can pick you up on the way if you want, I was thinking like one or two o'clock. Is that okay with you?_

 **From Riley:  
** **To Uncle Josh:  
** _I'll just meet you there at one. See you in a bit._

Riley shut off her phone, not waiting for a response. This would be interesting to say the least, and she wasn't entirely sure if she wanted to bring Maya. She had been doing so well those past few weeks and this may just be unnecessary pain.

Besides, Riley took a deep breath, she needed some answers for herself first. Then she would find the best way to explain everything to the blonde. At least, that's what she told herself as she grabbed a sweater and pulled it over her messy mop of brown hair. 

* * *

Josh pushed his phone into the pocket of his jeans, falling back onto the bed as he ran his hands through his hair. He knew he had to update Alina before she fell into whatever bear pit of emotions was about to proceed. He had just begun to formulate how he would approach the topic when the bathroom door suddenly opened and the aforementioned redhead walked out, wrapped in a towel.

"What's up with you?" Alina asked, placing her hand on her hip and taking in his stance. "I thought you'd be more gung-ho about my shift being cancelled."

"Trust me," he chuckled lightly, "I am." He reached for her hand lightly and drew her closer. "I'm just a bit nervous about lunch with my niece."

"Why?" Alina asked softly, realizing that perhaps the problem was more deep-seated than she had perceived.

"Yeah, I actually wanted to talk to you about that."

Alina narrowed her eyes, very few good things ever started that way.

"You met Maya earlier when they came to the apartment to pick me up," Josh paused, the next part would be the hardest. He wanted to be honest- he had always tried to be (though the levels of his success did not always correlate with his efforts). But, this had to be as painless as possible so he wasn't entirely sure what light to present it in. That being said, he didn't have five hours to create a concise plan, so he started describing what could easily be a long story in a few sentences.

"When we were younger she had a huge crush on me. It was a big deal for her. I told her that she was too young for me more times than I can count, but she never really let it go."

Alina sighed, this was a bit more complicated than she anticipated. "Did you like her?" She by no means saw Maya as a threat, a childhood infatuation wasn't usually a cause for worry. But, she could see clear as day the beautiful girl's appeal and knew it was better to ask rather than find out later. Besides, she and Josh had been together for a while now, and that he was willing to talk to her about this already spoke volumes.

"I think I might have," Josh admitted, his head bowing down slightly. "I told her that maybe when she got older we could try to work something out."

"But, then we got together," Alina finished, finally realizing why the situation with Riley was so strenuous. Best friends did not take kindly to people who fucked up their counterpart, familial relations aside.

"Yeah," Josh echoed quietly. "I didn't even tell her, she found out that day she met you."

"Wait," Alina stepped back from him, turning slightly pale. "She found out about us _that day_?! Josh, it's been a year and a half! How could you do this to her?!"

"I- I" Josh stuttered slightly, surprised with her reaction. He knew all that to be true, but he had expected her to be more concerned with the state of their relationship rather than Maya's feelings.

"For god's sake Josh," Alina cursed, running her hand through her wet hair, "no wonder she looked like she saw a ghost when she walked into the apartment." She began to put the puzzle pieces together, "And I kissed you before you left! Oh god, do you have any idea how much that must have hurt her?"

"Trust me, I know," Josh murmured, glancing down at his folded hands, empty after she had backed away in shock. He knew how terribly things had turned out, but it was slightly discerning to see his girlfriend reacting in that manner. Not necessarily unjustified, but discerning nonetheless. "I was stupid and a coward. I know I hurt her."

"That's why your niece has been avoiding you, isn't it," Alina questioned, already knowing the answer. It was what best friends did for each other. Though the blow may not have cut Riley as deep, it was there nonetheless.

"Yeah."

There was a silence that seemed to envelope them at that moment, each thinking through how they could move forwards from this. Josh couldn't help but feel that he had messed up absolutely every aspect he had any control over, and that was a painful thought that he hadn't been quite ready to face until that moment.

Alina moved first, walking back to sit on the bed next to Josh and gently taking his hand in hers- rubbing her thumb across his knuckles soothingly.

"You messed up, kid," Alina said softly. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that we found each other. I love you. But, you really should have told her."

"I know."

"Is this going to be a bit of a make-up lunch?"

"I think it might be," Josh responded. "But I don't think Maya's coming, it might be easier to talk with Riley first anyways."

Alina furrowed her brow at his comment, it seemed more logical in her eyes to tackle the root of the problem, but he knew the two best so she let it go. There was something about the situation that she couldn't quite pinpoint. She was grateful that Josh felt that he could confide in her about this, so many people would just avoid it. She was angry with him because he really did act stupidly. She felt bad for the two girls and for having likely ruined their first week at NYU. And, she was nervous. This would be a much heavier conversation than she had expected. But, family was complicated- she of all people knew that. 

* * *

**Quick Author's Note:**

 **There is a lot more** **Joshaya** **in the next chapter! I hope you'll stick around for it and persevere through the Josh/Alina centric moments that I know bother some of you a lot, LOL. I never thought they were too bad, even kinda cute!**


	11. The Floodgates

**Hey guys,**

 **It's explanation time. Some of you may have noticed on my profile (in the updates section), but I had an injury a few weeks ago and am still currently in the process of recovering. It's been crazy hectic with doctor's appointments and checkups (which combined with school and a new semester really sucks). My writing slowly fell through the cracks, but I managed to squeeze out this chapter by splitting up the long chapter I had planned out (again). For those who were expecting Joshaya (as I had promised in the last chapter, I'm sorry but you'll have to wait another 2 chapters as it's taking me a lot longer to write with the injury and everything).**

 **I am so incredibly grateful for all of your support, I have received so many lovely messages with encouragement and I cannot thank you enough for it. Also, we hit 200 reviews last chapter! That's crazy and all the love you guys have given this story means the world to me. That being said, I want to know what you guys think of what's happening/what you would like to see happen. We're no where near finished with this story, so I hope you're all in it for the long game (wink, wink)! I also feel the need to reassure you that this is not a primarily angsty fic, at least it wasn't supposed to be (oops)! Things will lighten up soon.**

 **I also have 2 NEW JOSHAYA ONE-SHOTS on the go, pretty different in nature from what I usually write as well. There are descriptions on my profile!**

 **Lastly, story-related thing: I've outlined a general plotline for a JOSHAYA AU, filled with stupid clichés and overall just a fun, angsty story. It probably isn't good to start** _ **another**_ **story, but please let me know what you guys think!**

 **An Aside: I know the world is kind of scary right now guys, but we have to be strong. Please be safe when taking a stance and make sure to spread love.**

 **I will try my very best to update soon! You can check my profile updates section for updates on my updates as well. I'm usually pretty punctual with it. Please PM me if you want to chat or if you have any questions! I love talking with all of you :)**

 **Happy Reading!  
** **-** _ **SleepingStarlight  
**_

* * *

 _ ****_"So," Josh began, taking in his surroundings before he entered the coffee shop. They had decided to show up a bit early, "this should be interesting."

"Yeah," Alina said vaguely, wrapping her scarf tighter around her neck. It was rather frigid that day, even for a fall morning. She fidgeted slightly, moving from foot to foot. Josh observed her in somewhat suspicion before she spoke. "Um, how much would you hate me if I left right now?"

"Wait- what?" Josh asked, feeling somewhat panicky at her proposal- eyes growing wide in alarm.

"I just think that my being here may not make Riley super comfortable, and you guys really have to talk". It had been a hard decision to make, but she knew that this problem was personal and no matter how much she cared for their situation, she was still an outsider in their dynamic. "I feel like you're going to have to figure this out without me, Josh."

"No, no, no! You said you were coming with me!" Josh accused, grasping at straws. There would likely be a bear pit in there waiting to swallow him whole and he was not quite ready to face it alone.

Alina stopped and took him in, sighing when she realized how desperate he seemed, but not wavering in her resolve. "You fucked up, Josh. Now you've got to fix it. I'll be across the street in the Pottery Barn, text me if things go south and I'll drop by."

"But-"

"No," Alina interrupted. "Just try to fix this. I don't expect perfect results, but I want you to try. You wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you didn't anyways."

Josh sighed resignedly, knowing that he wouldn't be able to convince the bundled up redhead in front of him by begging. She always had been rather stubborn. So he opted for a different approach, letting a soft smile wander onto his face. "I love you," he said softly, lacing their fingers together gently.

"Don't try to woo me Matthews," Alina laughed softly, still blushing slightly from his declaration despite being fully aware of his motivations. She had never been able to stop doing so after he had first admitted it eight months before, and he would be lying if he said that there weren't slight tingles racing up and down his spine when she looked at him that way. "I'll be right across the street," she leaned up to peck him softly, smiling as she felt him physically calm down when she briefly pressed her lips against his. "When this is done, how about we do something tonight? We could go out or something, it's been a while."

Josh smiled ruefully, knowing how hard she was trying to cheer him up. "That would be nice," he admitted, frowning when she began to place more distance between them, her feet slowly travelling backwards.

"So it's a date," she winked, before halting by the stoplight and waiting for it to turn green. "I'll see you in a bit. Good luck!"

Josh shook his head, the smile still on his lips. He never had been able to get over how lucky he was.

The air whooshed around his figure and he shivered slightly, heading towards the door of the stark difference in temperature as he walked in was enough to make him pause briefly. The cafe had been a favourite since his early days in University. Close, convenient, and impersonal. He could pick up a coffee and sit by himself. It wasn't as though he was a loner (it wasn't nearly as pathetic as it sounded), but in all honesty, sometimes he needed space. Space from his hectic university schedule, from his meddling family, from his roommate who had seemed to always be present no matter how hard he tried to shake him. The first few months, hell even the first year of university, was filled with people. New York wasn't nearly as quiet as Philly, but the cafe had become a quick favourite for solitary moments.

His infrequent visits had become much the opposite and if he knew the names of all of the staff- well, that was just a bonus. Granted they were mostly teens and he suspected quite a few had crushes on him, but they stuck in their own lane and didn't really bother him. Everyone seemed to respect his solitude there.

They had lessened in their attempts though after meeting Alina. The redhead had accompanied him on nearly every visit, sitting cross-legged on the leather couch and holding her hands out for coffee in what he knew had instantaneously become a new tradition. Being in there without her felt strange, but as he glanced around his gaze fell on the armchair sitting in the corner. He had switched to the couch when Alina began to join him (there wasn't a ton of room in that corner), but there was something appealing about the armchair that he could not quite explain.

The unshaded lamps cast a soft orange glow over the room, highlighting the worn booths and couches that were meticulously clean and drawing his gaze to the counter where Riley stood examining the pastries in the glass case having just placed her order.

He walked over, smiling at the guy behind the counter who had rolled his eyes at his appearance, already heading over to the machine to make his coffee. "Hey Riles," he said, from a safe distance away. While he doubted she would hit him again, he wasn't really feeling like taking his chances.

Riley spun around immediately and determinedly walked over. He couldn't decipher her look, but was shocked when she wrapped her arms around him tightly, mumbling. He stood frozen for a moment before carefully returning the gesture and backing away, clearly suspicious.

Riley stood, looking at him directly, though seemingly unwillingly. "I'm sorry I hit you. I mean, it was called for, but I shouldn't have. So I'm sorry."

Josh had his eyes wide open, clearly in shock. This wasn't quite the bear pit that he had been expecting.

Riley took in his confused state, realizing that perhaps she would have to lead this discussion. So she gestured to him, noting his somewhat disheveled state and tired eyes. She was naive to not have seen it before, but this was clearly also affecting him. "Your turn, Uncle Josh."

He snapped out of his train of thought when she addressed him, feeling somewhat rattled. His apology would be significantly longer and he'd be damned if they would stand there the entire time, awkwardly seeking yet simultaneously avoiding eye contact. So he looked for an open booth, gladly finding one near the window by the counter.

"Why don't we sit?" he suggested carefully, watching as she debated with herself briefly before following him to the booth. "Mine might take a little longer anyways," he admitted with a soft smile. He had to admit that he was incredibly grateful for his niece showing up alone. He wouldn't have been able to form proper sentences otherwise… the situation would have been far too flustering and Maya's presence was far too much of the same trait.

He sat in the arm chair, briefly fiddling with his sleeve before looking back up at his niece. "I'm sorry, I never meant for things to turn out this way."

Riley's eyes narrowed; she had already apologized so she was more than free to scrutinize his. "How _did_ you mean for this to turn out? Because if it was any variation of what actually happened I'm not going to take it all too well."

Riley wasn't going to lie, what had happened had shocked her. She knew her Uncle wasn't Lucas-level nice, but he also wasn't the massive jerk that he had appeared to be those past few weeks. The uncharacteristic change was perhaps what raised some red flags in her mind- what lead her to apologize for hurting him while she wouldn't have in any other case. This wasn't like him at all, and despite how little she wanted to hear what he had to say, she knew it was necessary. It wasn't easy to disregard such immediate family. She was willing to work this out.

"Have you ever been in love, Riles?" Josh began, not entirely sure where he was going with this.

He watched as she shook her head slowly, some sort of internal debate clearly occurring in her mind. "I thought maybe with Lucas, but I'm just not sure anymore."

"I hadn't been either," he admitted quietly. "Not even close. Remember when you asked me when you start to understand your own feelings?"

"Yeah," Riley nodded, remembering the seat in the ski lodge clearly. She had gone to him for advice that day, knowing and trusting that her uncle, (her wise, wise uncle), would automatically know the answer to her problem. Because that's who he was. He wouldn't have gotten an early acceptance to NYU if he was a fraud.

Josh scratched the back of his head nervously, watching her face closely as he continued. "I still can't really answer that without doubting myself. I was your age when I told you that. Fresh out of high school, a three-month relationship in the tenth grade under my belt. I didn't understand my own feelings then and in a lot of ways I still don't". He sighed, noticing how she seemed a little shocked. The age gap that he had always claimed to be so large, was in fact large at the time, but not so large that he had his entire life planned out. There were way too many holes in his plan- holes he had no idea how to fill until later that year.

"Sometimes I think you two may have put me on a pedestal. I'm three years older than you guys, not thirty. I still don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm making mistakes, and you have no idea how sorry I am that Maya got hurt by one. I kept planning to tell her. And I don't have an excuse for not doing so. I can't blame it on falling in love, I can't blame it on stress. I was an ass. I didn't see her very often, and every time I did, I just couldn't bring myself to talk with her."

Riley watched as he ran a hand through his hair, still mildly upset by his confession. His age didn't justify his actions and no matter how much he hated the results of them, they still happened. Maya was _nobody's_ collateral damage, and Riley was there to make that clear.

"You don't get to mess with her life like that, is that clear?" she demanded, knowing that she wouldn't proceed until some ground rules were laid out. She watched him nod, pain clearly flitting across his eyes, before pausing briefly and continuing.

"And I get what you mean. Love is messy. Even I'm confused these days." Riley sighed before altering her train of thought, this conversation wasn't supposed to be about her own romances. "I don't blame eighteen year old Josh for falling in love, okay?" She could acknowledge how that, at least, may have been outside of his control. But, at the same time...

"I'm upset that you didn't have enough faith in Maya to tell her. You have no idea what that did to her. It doesn't matter that you're with Alina, what matters is that you _never told her_. She trusted you. You two might not have had much of a relationship these past few years, but she thought that at least there was enough respect to avoid situations like these."

"I know you, Uncle Josh," Riley sighed. "And trust me, I know you didn't mean for things to work out this way. And even though I know you would never stop her, I'm telling you now that you have to let her move on. Maybe you were on a pedestal at some point, but you sure as hell aren't now."

Josh watched as Riley spoke, feeling oddly proud. What she just did, not many people would do. She had come out of her shell those past few years, clearly embracing her _Topanganese_ ancestry.

Maya had always been in his life. The infrequency of her presence would never alter that. And along the same lines, he would never live down his actions. He had seen her grow up, played with her as kids, and walked her back to her apartment more times than he could count. He would never be able to pinpoint at what exact moment he felt that he could put that relationship at risk, but he had. And seeing the pieces of it was too much in a way.

"I'm sorry," he said somewhat brokenly. It had been far easier to ignore what he had done those past few weeks, but the guilt that had remained tucked away was now breaching his every defence, crashing through open floodgates, and overwhelming every other emotion.

She sighed, crossing over to his chair and sitting down on the arm as Josh rubbed his face wearily. "You fucked up, Uncle Josh. And I'm not entirely sure how you're going to fix it. But you're not doing it alone anymore."


	12. No Archery Please

**Hey fam!**

 **Delayed once again, but not unexpectedly, I hope. My recovery has been going really well, and I want to thank all of you for your concern and well wishes. It means the world to me 3**

 **I'm sorry, this chapter is a bit messy and really short. It's actually really hard to navigate fictional characters' emotions and I've spent quite a lot of time forming bases that are difficult to build upon accurately. I'm trying my very best though!**

 **Thank you for all the lovely reviews! So many of you have been with me from the start and I can't begin to express how much that means to me! Sometimes I just sit and refresh the story statistics and squeal because there are so many people reading this story and I honestly don't deserve all of the love you've given it.**

 **I will hopefully begin another regular update schedule within the next few weeks, so you won't have to wait as long. Feel free to check my profile progress section if you're curious as to when the next chapter of something will come out!**

 **Anywho, enough chit chat!**

 **-** _ **SleepingStarlight  
**_

* * *

"You know you don't have to stop and read every poster, right?"

Riley rolled her eyes, scanning the notices on the café bulletin board. They had just been about to leave, their coffee cups empty and sitting on the table behind them. "Just because you were a lonely first year, doesn't mean I have to be, Uncle Josh. I'm trying to expand my interests- spread my wings if you will."

Josh chuckled at her word choice, "Not to be a downer, but some of these might be a little out of reach, even for you."

"You're not being a very supportive Uncle right now," Riley pouted, shoving his shoulder lightly, and smiling despite her attempts not to when he began to laugh.

"Sorry Riles, but, can you really picture yourself joining archery club? I feel like that might just be asking for trouble." Her clumsiness would not be an asset in that area.

"There's other stuff on here too!"

"Really? Like what?" he questioned, a smirk forming when she remained silent for a few seconds, clearly looking for _anything_ to prove him wrong.

And, man. He really wished he hadn't prodded her.

"Like- like… like THIS!" Riley pointed aggressively to a poster hanging next his elbow, excitement lighting up her face as she realized what a perfect opportunity it provided. She leaned over to take a picture, immediately sending it to Maya. She may have been recovering (and extraordinarily so), but the blonde could use some cheering up.

Josh took in the poster and its black, strobe-lit background and groaned. He may have antagonized his niece a bit too much. "Riley you're not going clubbing, you're not even legal."

"So?" she asked testily. They may have just made up, but she wasn't appreciating the father-like stance he seemed to be trying to take.

"How are you even going to get in?" he threw back defiantly. But his heart sank as the words left his mouth. He knew without a doubt how she would respond.

"Do you honestly think Maya didn't get us fake ID's the moment we turned eighteen?" Riley could have scoffed in that moment. As much as her uncle may have claimed to know them, he had been pretty absent those past few years. She was tired of being underestimated and could easily pinpoint the origin of her suddenly hostility. Living with Maya had taught her many things, and not being pushed around was among the first.

"I'm going to do what I please, and you're going to have to learn to live with it, Uncle Josh."

"Are you going to tell Cory?" He asked, knowing how that would pierce her bravado.

Sure enough, she faltered. He took the opportunity to take a picture of the poster himself, before taking in the name with a smile. He had been to another location a year back and it had been pretty good considering he wasn't usually the type for late night ventures, despite how old that made him seem.

Riley narrowed her eyes at his actions, watching as he read over the details. "What are you doing?"

"You know this is the opening night, right? There's going to be a bit of a line."

"Uncle Josh, what are you doing?" she repeated, suddenly becoming worried as his intentions dawned on her.

"Riley, you know you shouldn't be going to this alone." Josh reminded her gently. She may have been eighteen and living away from home, but she wasn't quite ready to do everything on her own yet.

"I wouldn't be alone," she muttered, hating that he actually made sense. "I'd be with Maya."

Josh smiled ruefully, knowing that though she already had pretty adequate protection, his brother would never forgive him if he let his two daughters (for all intensive purposes) go out clubbing… while underage… and alone. Yeah no, Cory would kill him.

He remembered the lecture he had been given before the two girls moved out. He had already done pretty rottenly in all emotional aspects concerned- it was time to take his responsibilities a little more seriously.

"She won't want you there," Riley said, feeling no regret over her harsh words despite his slight wince at the blunt truth. He deserved it and would readily admit so.

"I know," he grimaced, hating how he had hurt her, in some ways beyond repair. "I'll stay out of your way. I just want to make sure you're okay."

Riley softened, grabbing his arm and leading him outside. It had warmed significantly and sunlight peeked out behind the clouds, illuminating the brightly coloured leaves that littered the street. "I don't know if this is a good idea," she admitted softly. "Maya… she's been doing well. She's working really hard. I think it helps that she gets to choose most of her courses now. But, she needs to get out." Riley paused briefly, wondering how much she wanted to actually confide. "We may not be sneaking out of bay windows, but we're still the same two kids looking for trouble somewhere in there."

Josh paused, taking in his surroundings. Being in Philly for his childhood had demanded a certain distance between him and his older brother. Less time with his niece, (who was in all honesty more of a cousin), and certainly less time with Auggie. It didn't really matter how many spontaneous visits he would plan, because while they were fun there wasn't enough time to connect on a very emotional level. He could be as protective as he wanted, but he didn't have a lot of power over Riley's decisions and he most definitely had none over Maya's. He had heard of their expeditions a lot while growing up, even becoming jealous at times with the amount of attention the pair when they were children. They had always been enigmatic kids, and he wanted more than anything for them to keep that part of themselves.

"You guys are still those kids, you've just grown up a bit now. It's good that you want to hold on, just make sure you're still letting yourselves grow."

"That's exactly what I'm trying to do, Uncle Josh." He could have groaned in that instance; he didn't mean "grow" in the way she seemed to be interpreting it.

"But, I feel like I have to take your advice with a grain of salt now," Riley teased, watching as he rolled his eyes and chuckled and they halted, waiting to cross the street.

He sighed, "That might actually be a good idea."

"You're going to have to talk to her about this at some point," Riley admitted, acknowledging what they had been dancing around for a quite a while. She may have come to terms with her Uncle's actions to whatever extent she could, but despite the closeness of their relationship, apologizing to Riley did not translate directly to apologizing to the blonde. Maya may not like it, and Riley most definitely did not, but some clearing of the air was necessary.

"I know," Josh replied, staring at his shoes and placing his fidgeting hands in the enclosure of his denim pockets. "I'll stay out of your way tonight though, you won't even know I'm there."

Riley sighed, somewhat upset that things had reached that point. But, it seemed to be for the best. "Are you sure you're even gonna make it, Uncle Josh? You're not getting any younger and don't exactly seem to be in peak condition…"

Josh rolled his eyes, "Why don't you leave that part to me."

* * *

 **Until the next update my dears :)))**

 **Here's a preview:**

Maya fidgeted, avoiding eye contact as she attempted to sort through her emotions. "I keep trying to move on. I do. But, I can't control it. Was any of this even real for you?"


End file.
